Where I Belong
by Black's gal
Summary: What if Bella and Jacob met under different circumstances? What if Bella realized she is in love with Jacob before he even turns into a werewolf? Will Bella still choose Edward when he returns? story continued after the walk in New Moon...
1. Chapter 1

**_disclaimer: every character mentioned below belongs to Stephanie Meyer, author of twilight._**

Where I Belong

Chapter 1- Damsel in Distress

Bella 's pov

Edward walked away… he didn't look back. He just kept walking. I was shouting his name begging him to stay. I was begging him to spare me my life by staying. But he kept walking, I tried following him, but I reached no where near him. I was stuck in a same place. Then a large man, bare foot, with no shirt walked towards me from my right side. It was Sam Uley. He pulled me away and away… away from my life, away from my Edward.

I woke up, my eyes about to pop out. Then reality came crashing down to me. Edward left. He finally realized that I was not worthy of him. The Cullen's left. And all I was left with was a hole in my heart. I have no idea how I will survive the rest of the life that I am left with, without them, without _him_. I cannot even think about spending my life without him. I am not sure about anything at the moment except the fact that when he left, my ability to love anyone else left with him.

I have no reason to live.

I was ready to end my life then and there until I thought of the promise I made "_nothing reckless or stupid_". Does taking my life away for him sound reckless or stupid? It doesn't to me. But some part of me wants to abide by the vow I took. A last thing I could do just to commit to him, my last string that bonded me with him, to survive the pain with _his_ memories. Even so I vowed to painfully abide by the last piece of commitment for him, it was agonizingly obvious that my life almost depended and revolved around them, and when they left, my life seemed meaningless to me, almost worthless.

_"And I'll make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." _

The final words he uttered replayed in my head once more as it has been doing for months now. It will be as if he'd never existed? What about the pain? Did he think that his absence would make me forget the best moments of my life? The days where I felt true love? If he thought that when he left then he's clearly not as smart as I gave him credit for.

After that night in woods, my life changed. I should've been prepared for it. I mean how can one expect perfection like Edward to fall in love with a clumsy ordinary girl like me? Edward and Isabella were never meant to be.

Months have passed since that night, but I still can't seem to grab the fact that Edward left. Even though I always felt that I didn't deserve him, I just….

Tears started welling up in my eyes as a fresh pain spread all over my body remembering the conversation that day. The day Edward Cullen broke up with me. The day my heart was punched with a hole and the day I lost my reason to live.

I often find myself questioning "will I survive?" And honestly I have no idea. I feel like a damsel in distress waiting for my knight in shining armor to rescue me, to show me the silver line.

I want my Edward back, even though I don't deserve him, I want him back just for one more kiss, one more touch, to feel that electric vibe flow through my body whenever he did. I want my room to smell that honey like scent once again. Even though I hate the coldness in the weather, I want to feel his strong cold arm around my body. I want to fall asleep to his cold chest. I want to be dazzled by him once more like I used to be.

My poor human memory of him doesn't do any justice to the perfection that Edward is. But even so I don't have any other means to rejoice his beauty except my faint and fading memory. By now I have questioned myself a millionth times if any of it was real… he did a thorough job in making sure that he left no trace of himself for me to hold on to. But still I can't forget him, because every time I take his name a new shot of pain courses through my body.

He obviously didn't think of that. He forgot how stubborn I can get. I can't make myself believe that Edward was not real, if he wasn't real than why am I curled up in a ball in my bed with eyes full of tears just because I allowed myself to utter his name?

Now all I can do is, wait for my knight to come save me from my so called life because as much as I want to move on with my life as any other girl would after a relationship ends, I can't. All I can now do is living my life like a robot, doing the basics, and if I let myself see the truth scare the shit out of Charlie and whoever bothers enough to look at me for more than a minute. I am a living corpse; I guess turning into vampire wasn't such a bad idea after all.

I want someone to save me… I want that someone to be him… even though he promised he'll never be back… I am making myself believe that he will break his promise like he broke his first one… I am waiting for that… I am waiting to be saved…

I hate being helpless, but there's nothing I can really do to stop myself from living like this. I can't gather myself up to care for someone, or to even care for myself…


	2. Chapter 2

**__****_disclaimer: every character mentioned below belongs to Stephanie Meyer, author of twilight, except for some..._**

Where I Belong

Chapter 2- Girl in Mission

I don't remember the last time I cleaned my home, if I knew I would find a navy-blue shirt lying inside my father's closet that belonged to _him_, than I would have probably done it a little earlier. I remember me spilling sauce in it, but I certainly don't remember how it ended up there. Nevertheless, I found one reason to smile. I almost expected paparazzi to come flashing down the house desperate to cover Isabella Swan's first smile in months, well it wasn't unlikely since everyone in Forks seemed overly interested in me.

I clutched the shirt closer to my chest and moved to my room. Even though it had been staying in Charlie's room for months, I swear I can still smell _his_ scent in it. The honey like sweet odor that once my room would be filled with, now is only contained in this piece of cloth. All I have left of him now is this thing that I hold in my hand, I almost laughed at the thought of this cloth being more precious than any treasure of this world.

Before I could make myself think of anything else I heard our door bell ring, odd… our house rarely have the guests who bothers to actually ring the bell. The only guest that we have is Billy, who usually bangs on the door almost knocking the door out of its place. Well at least I am glad that I cleaned up the house, it won't go unnoticed.

I opened the door; my mouth would have touched the ground if only it were possible. The girl standing on my door was the last person in this entire planet I expected to be there standing next to me. Ellie, the only girl who even bothered to talk to me in Phoenix was standing in front of me. What was she doing here? I couldn't even muster myself to ask that question. How long had it been since I talked to this brunette girl? Too long, it wasn't until I saw her that I realized just how much I missed her. It all felt like a dream.

"Ellie… what…." Was all I could say, I was just too dumbfounded.

"Well… you surely know how to greet your guests don't you?" she said.

Hearing her voice assured me that I wasn't dreaming, and then I pounced on her with a huge hug. It was like a flood of all kinds of feelings that I was avoiding from feeling all along- pain, happiness, anxiety, nervousness, and I don't know what. It was a new sensation in my body, a change of air, after all the numbness I'd been through. It was not the pain, it was not the numbing feeling, and it was different.

I stiffened when I remembered why hugging someone felt odd to me, the reason behind all the pain. Ellie must have felt my oddity; she let her hands slide down and backed away to look at me from head to toe, just as I backed away to take a better look at her.

She had grown curvier from the last time I remembered. She was wearing a green knitted sweater and khaki jeans that complimented her curves. She stood about two inches taller than me and her brown loose curly hair fell to her waist in freedom. She used to hate having her hair long, what made her change her mind? Her chocolaty brown eyes -always reminded me of my own, were glinting a little drops of tears. She was happy yet she was hiding another bit of emotions in her face that I couldn't put a finger to yet. She was smiling in such a way that her smile would fade for a tiniest of bit but then again come to full length. Her smile was doing that the whole time she observed me, well the way she was staring me, examining me can be the better term for it. She was looking like she was looking at something that she disapproved all and all. Her expressions were confusing me. She walked past me carrying her suitcase herself, and entered our small living room.

"Look at you… Bella" she said pointing at the mirror, in a weird tone that I couldn't understand. I felt like she actually wanted me to look at myself, so I did.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror hung in the wall. I felt like I was staring at someone else. I hadn't taken any time to actually look at myself; I never felt the need for it. But that moment I saw what Ellie was seeing in me, a girl thin as a bamboo, skin so pale and wore out that it could easily be mistaken for an old lady, dark circles under eyes like it had been painted with blue ink. I looked repugnantly hideous. I couldn't remember the reason why I looked the way I did.

I thought I did everything I should do, but what was the reason that I looked this worn out, this tired, this stressed? I just couldn't remember. I looked at myself now with the same expression that Ellie was showing a moment ago, it was confusion. I was confused as to how did I let myself reach to this condition that I was in. When did I give anyone the permission to hurt me like I was hurt now? When did I let my guards down? When was the last time I ate because I was hungry? When was the last time I took care of me? What is wrong with me?

I asked myself these question again and again and again, until my head was spinning. I was clueless as to what led my life to where I was. I had no energy left then, all I wanted was to change myself into a better person but I felt all my energy drain out of my body and I couldn't stand anymore. I fell to the ground like I couldn't look at myself anymore.

Ellie came to my side at once, she held me like she understood what was going on in my head. Why did she come? I could feel my body getting cold, and I hated it.

"Bella honey, you're freezing. Let me get you a blanket. Where can I find one?"

She had arrived like what five minutes ago? And here she was taking care of_ me_? I felt so bad for her. Isn't the host supposed to take care of the guest?

"No, I am fine. What are you doing here Ellie? How did you find me… here in Forks? How did you know where I was? How… what… why… when…I mean…" I stammered in confusion.

For a split second, I guessed that Ellie was a vampire. It was one of the after effects. After you spend more than half a year with one too many vampires, you suspect every other human to be a vampire. I immediately shoved that thought out of my head, Ellie was a friend who clearly was worried for me, and here I was suspecting her humanity. Such good friend I turn out to be.

"Bella, Renee told me everything. About you and that asshole who left you in the woods. She was so worried about you. She thought you were going to hurt yourself. I was so scared Bella, out of everybody I know, you're the most caring person I know. And when I heard that you needed help I wanted to be here so bad. I was out of my wits thinking about you, and when we got extra holiday, I just couldn't stop myself. "

"Extra vacation for what?"

"Oh… our school in Phoenix was caught on fire; most of our classroom was damaged."

"Oh my god, are you okay? Is everybody fine?"

"Yeah, everybody is fine Bella; well the one that needs to be taken care of is you. And I swear if I find that fucking retard than I'm gonna beat the shit out of him"

I frowned at her cursing. She was never the one to hold her mouth. I didn't want to talk about _him_ yet. I wasn't ready yet. So I started in the easier questions.

"When did Renee call you?"

"Well I was the one who called Renee; I remembered your dream of becoming 18. Your big talks about the big eighteen, I wanted to wish you. But it took me days to find Renee's number and when I called her it was already October then, and… she filled me in on everything." She said a bit carefully.

A shot of guilt hit me, when I was younger, when I wasn't in love with a vampire, I had dreamt of being eighteen like it would be the day of my freedom. Ellie was the one I shared those dreams to and when the day finally arrived I had actually dreaded the day. I felt like I betrayed my own dreams. But more than that I was shocked that Ellie knew about everything .But how much did everything meant? I had to ask.

"Oh… so she filled you in about the break up?"

"No, I wouldn't say the break up. I would say the freaking brutality of that fucking bastard. Bella if he didn't had the brain to love you like you deserved than I think you're better of without him"

"Ellie, you don't know what you're talking about. You're dead wrong about him…" I said reflexively.

Whenever anyone talked bad about Edward, it came to me like a reflex action to defend him. My heart started beating rapidly as I allowed myself to think about that night, about him.

Ellie looked me dead in the eyes, and said, "No, Bella. I am right about him; you are the one who is dead wrong about _**him**_."

"What makes you say that?"

She gave a look that made me regret asking that question.

"What makes me say that? He leaving you alone in the woods in the night, he breaking your heart, he not having the fucking decency to give you a closure makes me say that Bella. Stop defending him. He's a damn jerk and it's about time you freaking open your eyes to the truth."

Well that was true. But still she didn't know Edward like I did. She had no idea what she was talking about. If she knew the whole truth she wouldn't be saying those things. And she would never know the whole truth, she couldn't. But then again, what would I prefer more? Ellie knowing the whole truth and wanting the same thing as me or letting her hate Edward forever more… For a split second I thought of revealing the truth about the mystical creatures called vampires, but I threw that option out of the window and decided to change the topic.

"So, how long are you going to stay?" I asked getting up.

"About two weeks, and believe me when I leave, you'll be in better health and in hell of a better mood. I am a girl in a mission, babe." She said as she went upstairs.

I was looking forward to spending the next two weeks with Ellie, the first after months. I could feel the change of air all around me, I could feel my anxiety. I allowed myself to be anxious after so many months of numbness, my senses felt intense.

* * *

**(A/N: sorry about the grammatical mistakes, I am very new to writing Jacob/Bella story. i have a few ideas here and there popping in my head but it is going to take some time and I will try my very best to post this story regularly. Remember reviews are love and they are wanted, so please do review! it will encourage me to write more and keep it even more interesting... so please do review!)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**disclaimer: following mentioned characters are based on the novel twilight, whose author is Stephanie Meyer, who I am not (sadly)**_

* * *

Where I Belong

Chapter 3 - Tuning Them Out

Charlie didn't allow Ellie to sleep with me in my room. He didn't want her to get disturbed in the middle of the night because I usually end up screaming in my dreams. It wasn't such a bad idea, but I kind of felt bad for Charlie, he had to sleep in the couch (Ellie was sleeping in his room).

You would think after almost three months of the same dream I would get used it but it was not the case. The dream never failed to scare me. I was always lost in the woods while I look for something, just like that night when Sam Uley found me, but in dreams no one found me. I was in the middle of nothing searching for something or rather you know someone, _him_. I never found _him_ though, I found nothing.

The same thing happened that night as well. I woke up screaming. Charlie was used to it by now, he had stopped checking in on me months ago, but it didn't stopped Ellie from rushing to my room.

"What? What happen Bella?" Ellie frantically asked as she moved to my side trying to find any sign if I was hurt.

She didn't find it, I wasn't physically hurt. But the pain inside was much worse than any wound on the outside would cause. I couldn't look at her; the pain that was burning in my chest was too much to bear. It was like my blood was on fire and every beat of my heart was too much to bear. At the moment, being changed into vampire seemed a better idea as ever; at least my heart won't beat. But that future for me was lost forever, I will never get my vampire family back; I never had them to start with. That thought shot another pain all over me, and my cries grew more uproarious. I must have scared Ellie out of her wits.

Even though she must have been scared and confused she didn't show it. She stayed with me the whole time until dreamless sleep took me away.

We both fell asleep in my bed. When I woke up, Ellie was pressing her heavy right leg on my body. I almost laughed at the way she looked. Her hair was all over the place, and her eyes were puffy and a slight hint of dark circle was evident in her perfect flawless skin; all thanks to me of course. I felt so bad, that her first night in Forks went like that, it was awful.

I slowly got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom to freshen up. I took my time carefully making sure I didn't stare at the mirror for too long. I was scared of the girl that would stare back at me, after looking at me with a new vision yesterday; I didn't have the courage to look at myself again.

After I finished, I went downstairs to find Charlie in the kitchen nibbling at the cereal in his bowl.

"Hey dad, good morning" I said trying to feel enthusiastic.

He looked at me for a while and I'm pretty sure that he caught my fake enthusiasm.

"You too honey" Charlie replied and again started nibbling his cereal.

I sighed and started preparing omelet for me and Ellie.

"I'm preparing omelets, do you want some?"

"Its okay Bella, I had cereals. I'm going fishing with Billy and Harry, will be out for all day"

"Oh… okay have fun then…"

"What are you doing today?"

"I don't ..."

"She's going out with me today; we'll also be out today Charlie. I hope its okay with you." Ellie came down the stairs.

"It's completely okay with me. At least Bella will get out of the house" Charlie said grinning.

My mouth hung open, my dad wanted me out? I must have really been scaring him; I'm pretty sure if I'd stayed home a few more days he would have decided to send me to Renee's place. I stayed quite while Ellie and Charlie talked like they were best friends. I was too busy getting lost in my own world. It was something I did most of the times, tuning other people out of my mind, like covering my ears and shutting my eyes close mentally.

"Hello…. Bella you there?" Ellie said waving in front of me, bringing me back to the kitchen.

I gasped in surprise. "Umm …what?"

"I said where do you want to go today? You know like for movie and stuff…"

"I don't know…" I looked for Charlie, but he was nowhere to be seen. He probably had already left.

"Seattle?"

"Too far… let's just head to Port Angeles"

I don't know why, I felt like I had to go to Port Angeles today. Something was calling me, my mind immediately flashed back to the last time I was there. That night with Edward, lord knows what I would do for one more night like that. I wanted to live that night once more, maybe Edward would be there.

Pathetic much? I know I felt pathetic, but Edward was not someone who was easy to forget. Ellie was excited to get out of the house for some shopping as she planned but I had nothing bit of excitement inside of me.

_After two hour drive…_

".god. Bella why in the hell do you drive this shitty truck?" Ellie yelled kicking my poor truck which brought us to Port Angeles but as soon as we got there, it denied budging from its place.

"Dude… don't hate the truck. Maybe it got over-heated or something. Lets just leave it here and maybe it'll be fine when we get back" I said pulling Ellie away from my idle Chevy,saving it from getting kicked at again. What can I say? I loved my truck.

Ellie was showing a fit for a while, but she eventually gave up when she got in the mood of shopping. We spent the whole afternoon from shop to shop. My eyes were literally aching looking at the dresses and clothes that Ellie picked out.

While we went back to my truck, we were praying for it to work again. It was getting dark and I had a feeling that we were going to run into trouble if we stay here late.

I got inside my truck and tried the keys. It didn't budge. Ellie was staring at me like she was going to kill me. I was so tired and sleepy from all the shopping and the stupid bags that she made me carry. I literally prayed that my truck would magically start running again so that I could go home and sleep peacefully. Oh… that wasn't going happen, me sleeping peacefully? Ha-ha

"Bella?" a voice from far behind pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked from my mirror to find a tall guy walking towards me. I would have been scared rather, but then I recognized the boy. It was Jacob Black. He reached to my truck's window.

"It is you… what are you doing here?"

I pointed to loads of bag to my right side.

"You know… a little bit of time pass" my tone full of sarcasm.

"You need some help with the truck?" he asked.

"Some? I say helluva lot help is needed for this thing to run again" Ellie said with more sarcastic tone and kicking the truck from inside once again!

"Hey, don't hate the truck" Jacob and me yelled together.

We both stared at each other and laughed a hearty laugh. It was odd, me laughing. The sound was different to my ears. From the corner of my eyes I could see Ellie staring me with shock.

"Hey Jacob this is Ellie, my friend from Phoenix. Ellie, this is Jacob, my mechanic friend" I said after composing myself.

They both said their hellos and I joined Jacob beneath the hood of my truck leaving Ellie alone inside the truck. He had grown tall. He had to bend his back so low that it seemed sort of painful.

"Jacob, you grew again." I accused him.

He chuckled, his eyes still focused on the parts of my truck.

"Six-five, but still a beanpole. I'm working on that"

"You're huge… Jacob"

"Well if we're going at it, you're pale Bella" he mimicked my tone.

I chuckled again. It was odd, laughter came easily and I wasn't even trying to laugh.

"Well, we all are special in a way, aren't we?" I teased.

"Sure, sure"

After about fifteen minutes of doing things to my truck, he finally pulled the hood down. And that was the first time I noticed his face clearly that night. His face was still the same sweet boy I had met eight months ago, but it had hardened into sharpness. His cheekbones were sharper than ever and his round chin had squared off, gone were the childish roundness of his face. His body had grown as well; his muscles were prominent even under his ill fitted shirt. Even though he compared himself as the beanpole I saw him far from it. He looked like a full grown man, rather than a mere sixteen year old boy that he really was supposed to be.

"Why are you staring at me Bella?" he asked looking a little self-conscious rubbing the back part of his neck.

I zapped my mouth shut, as I realized I was hanging them wide open. He was the first guy ever after Edward that I stared at for more than a mere glance. I was embarrassed. I felt my cheeks getting hot; I wanted to run away from this embarrassing moment so badly.

"Jake… dude… we've been looking for you all over the place, man what are you doing there?" a voice from a distance said.

That distracted him. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.

"What? Who's that?"

"Umm… they're my friends Quil and Embry. I was here with them, I lost track of time."

From the shadow, two tall dark skinned boys strolled towards the light. One was taller than the other, just about the height of Jacob, the other one though shorter but sure was muscular.

"Dude… where the hell have you been? You kept us waiting man" the shorter one said. I was yet to be seen from behind Jacob's large figure.

"Quil, Embry this is Bella, Bella Swan" Jacob said pulling me in their line of sight.

"Shit… didn't see you there… I'm Quil Ateara – you're Charlie's kid right?" the shorter one said flashing a weird smile, almost an arrogant smile.

"That's right" I said shaking his hands.

"Hey, I'm Embry, Embry Call" the taller one said shyly.

Ellie came out in time, so I pointed towards her thankful that the spotlight was off me.

"That's Ellie" I said

Quil and Embry looked at her immediately and started to talk to her. But Jacob's eyes were locked on me. We were staring at each other, tuning them out. I amazingly didn't feel self-conscious like I always did. I don't know what Jacob was staring at but I was staring at Jacob's face, he had this look in his face that I couldn't look away at all and I didn't want to as well.

"Woooooooooooooooo" Quil and Embry's voice brought me back.

I jumped in surprise; Ellie's smile was wide in her face. I immediately grew hot in embarrassment. What just happened?

"Well if the truck is fixed and all the introduction and invitation is done then, shall we head home Bella?" Ellie said crossing linking her arms to mine.

"Yeah we should" I said.

"Okay guys, we'll see you later…. You too Jacob" Ellie said smiling wide again.

"Bye Jacob" I said still embarrassed.

Quil and Embry cleared their throats too loudly. I wanted to die at that moment. I again tuned other people out and focused only on Jacob and bad as that was I was getting caught each time.

"We're here too Bella" Quil said.

"I'm sorry…umm… bye Quil, bye Embry" I said flushed.

"Uh-huh" Embry said eyeing me and Jacob with a huge grin.

I ran towards the door. I just wanted to get out of the embarrassing moment, and ended up stumbling on my own feet. But before I could fall on my ass to the ground, Jacob caught me.

"Umm… thanks Jacob, bye…" I said pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

I sat in the driver's seat and breathed a sigh of relief that I would be out of this scene sooner. I was about to start the truck, but Jacob appeared out of nowhere again by my window. He was so close to my face, I gasped in surprise. My heart was beating wildly, it was an odd sensation.

"Hey Bella, I know Quil already invited Ellie… and Billy probably invited Charlie but I still wanted to invite you …personally…"

"Invite me for what?" I asked perplexed.

Jacob chuckled, "Quil just invited Ellie here… to the bonfire we're having in my house this Friday"

"Like five minutes ago, right in front of you" Quil added from the other side.

'_Well if the truck is fixed and all the introduction and **invitation **is done then, shall we head home Bella?_' Ellie's voice repeated in my mind. Oh… so that was the invitation all about. Ellie stifled a laugh and Jacob face stretched a wide grin. I was so embarrassed but seeing Jacob smile I gingerly smiled back. I don't know why or what made me do that but I smiled with true enthusiasm despite my embarrassment caused by my lack of concentration.

"Okay, then see you at Friday?" Jacob said.

"Are you sure you won't see each other earlier?" Embry added from behind.

"Okay, okay… she'll be there at six Jacob, now will you let her focus on the driving part?"

"Sure, sure"

I waved them good bye and I drove off to Forks feeling kind of odd at my own reaction. I don't know what happened there. But just like with Ellie it wasn't until I saw Jacob, I realized just how much I liked and missed him. I wanted to meet him again soon. Sooner actually…

"He makes you smile" Ellie said in such an innocent tone that I had to look at her.

She had this sincere look in her face and she was truly happy. I smiled in return.

"You do too." I said in that same tone she used.

"Yeah but he doesn't need to try **this** hard. It was good to hear you laugh honey."

My smile disappeared in the thin air. I just looked outside the window. I wanted to say something but suddenly I felt too guilty. I don't know why but I felt like I cheated on Edward. Suddenly home was too far away.

Thankfully I reached home in silence; Ellie somehow understood that I didn't want to talk about anything at the moment.

We reached home at about 9 o' clock. Charlie was already home and was lounging at the sofa.

"Hey girls, had fun?"

"Tons! But the highlight of the day was when we met Jacob" Ellie screamed in excitement sitting next to Charlie.

Jacob's name made me blush again. Before anyone noticed that, I swiftly walked to the kitchen. But being the clumsy klutz that I was, I stumbled onto the table. Ellie and Charlie just rolled their eyes.

"Yeah… I'm okay guys" I snapped.

Charlie's eyes would have fallen to the ground if it were possible. He looked from me to Ellie like he had just seen an alien land in his kitchen. I didn't hear anything but I swear I saw Ellie mouth "Jacob" to Charlie. It was the first time Charlie had seen me show any kind of emotion after _that_ night, and if I let myself think about it, sarcasm in my tone must have been like a gift to Charlie at the moment.

I heated the cold pizza that Charlie ordered for dinner in the microwave and joined in the sofa with them.

"So, how's Jacob Bella?" Charlie asked eyes still on the TV.

"Umm… he's fine dad"

"Just fine? He's hot Charlie… really hot, but sadly he didn't even notice me" Ellie said pouting her lips.

Then Ellie and Charlie started talking probably trying to tease me. I gladly used my ability to tune them out. Before I knew it I was done with my pizza. Ellie and me headed upstairs for the night. Ellie stayed in my room bringing all the shopping bags. She threw them in the corner promising to check everything tomorrow, and called it a night. She seemed tired after all the hard work of shopping she did.

I was tired as well, too tired that I couldn't even think of anything. I let unconsciousness take me away for the night as well.

_I was in the woods searching frantically for something that I hadn't found yet. I was sure if I head the way I was heading I would find it for sure. The trees were getting taller and thicker as I moved towards the place I wanted to be. It was getting darker and darker. I couldn't see properly but still I could feel someone's presence close, very close behind me._

_Sniff…sniff…. There was a sound behind; the dry leaves in the ground shook a little. I turned around automatically, an animal; a dog like animal ran away just before I could catch a glimpse of it. I turned ahead once again. I could still feel the presence of that animal behind, but I wasn't scared. Somehow I felt safe because of that animal's presence. _

_And then suddenly there was Edward there… my Edward standing right in front of me. I gasped as his perfection took me off guard…He was there looking so beautiful, but I didn't feel the presence of the animal anymore. I turned around to look for the dog, that animal whatever that was. But it wasn't there and I didn't feel safe anymore. I wanted it there with me and Edward. I was confused, Edward was standing in front of me and yet I didn't feel safe enough? I turned to look at him again but suddenly it wasn't Edward standing there, it was another man. The same man who had found me that horrible night, Sam Uley._

I woke up startled, I was in my room. I looked at the clock; it was mockingly showing me that it was 4 in the morning. I didn't scream? I smiled for the first time in three months yesterday and I didn't scream in my dream today. It felt odd. I was so habituated to wake up screaming that this felt out of place. But the pain was still there, I saw Edward in my dreams for the first time and even in my dreams he left me. What does that dream supposed to mean? Did it mean that Sam was going to take Edward's place? I felt a lump in my throat just at the thought of Edward's place being replaced by anyone else. The idea was simply absurd.

I didn't allow myself to give that dream a second thought. I composed my breathing, pulled my hair to a loose ponytail and prepared myself to sleep another two hours before I wake up to prepare for school. Before I knew it I fell into a dreamless sleep thankfully.

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_**(A\N: thank you so much for the reviews and alerts! what about this chapter? did you like it?did you like Jacob and Bella's first meet? let me know what you think... you know what I say 'reviews are love and reviews are wanted'!=))**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**disclaimer: every character mentioned below belongs to the great Stephanie Meyer (sadly) except for Eliie( she's my creation ;)) **_

_**(A\N:hey i'd like to thanks multiple sarcasm for the review... it was because of your review that this chapter's idea popped in my head! hope you like it!=))**_

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Where I Belong

Chapter 4 - Attraction

School went by a blur after that weekend in Port Angeles. I didn't allow myself to think of Jacob, every time my mind replayed that night, my chest felt like it would explode out of sheer pressure. I couldn't allow myself to think of any other guy except Edward. Now that I was blocking Jacob out of my mind, I found myself reminiscing about Edward most of the times. Needless to say, Charlie and Ellie found me screaming in the middle of the night, one too many times in those three days

It was Wednesday evening, a sunny one. It was about 4, but it wasn't dark yet.

"I am so sorry Bella; I am being the rudest friend in the entire world. But I need sleep." Ellie said showing me the ear plug that she had bought from the store.

"No, its fine… I totally understand" and I did. I didn't want her to get sick because of lack of sleep. She didn't deserve insomnia just because I had those nightmares.

"That night… after Port Angeles… you didn't have the nightmares… you didn't scream" Ellie said facing the ground.

I looked away, what was I supposed to say… no Ellie, I had those nightmares; I just decided not to scream that night?

Then suddenly a loud roaring sound was heard from far away. We were sitting outside in the front steps. The sound was getting closer and closer with every roar. Ellie and I stood up to see what was making that sound.

A dirt bike appeared and two guys with their long black hair running wild in the wind. I gasped at the sight. It was Jacob and Embry. Embry was riding the bike; Jacob was awkwardly sitting in the back. The bike came to an abrupt stop in front of us, Jacob hopped out of it.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Ellie asked a little too excited.

I couldn't face Jacob, so much for blocking him out of my mind. I kept looking at the ground, kicking the stones and pebbles.

"I thought Forks must have been driving you insane, so I, I mean we came here to invite you for some recreation" Embry said.

I looked up. Jacob was staring at me. As soon as our eyes met Jacob smiled the cutest smile I had ever seen him smile. I smiled back in return effortlessly, without a conscious command that I usually felt when I had to smile. I felt the smile.

"What kind of recreation?" I asked.

"Do you know how to swim?" Jacob flashed a wicked smile.

His lips stretched awkwardly to his left cheek, only in one side and flashing a set of perfect white teeth. As cliché as it sounds, his eyes were glowing. I again smiled in response; it was becoming a sort of reflex action.

" oohh… swimming I like the sound of it, give us five minutes we'll grab extra pair of clothes to wear" Ellie said pulling me inside.

As soon as I got inside, my heart beat wild, my face flushed. Ellie noticed my expression change.

" Bella, please… don't go to zombie mode now… whatever they're planning sounds fun okay… please… you will have to allow yourself to let go… you'll have to start acting like a human… Bella please… you have to at least try to give the fun part a chance… you can't always stay like this you know…"

Ellie squeezed my hands. Fun… didn't sound that bad… I could be fun right? Oh… who am I kidding… but at least I wanted to give it a try…

"Okay… let's give it a try" I sighed.

Ellie threw a pair of her hot pants and a black tank top that definitely wasn't mine.

"What is this?"

"Those are some old pairs; Embry said wear something you don't care about…"

Embry said that? When? I've got to start listening to other people when Jacob's around. I just nodded and changed into those and grabbed a jacket.

"Ellie… you're coming with me… Jake's too heavy for me to take it to the full speed." Embry said pointing to the dirt bike.

"Jake can ride with Bella in her truck" Embry said winking at me.

I thought he was shy… guess I need another recheck…

"Sure, sure" Jacob said in a carefree manner.

Ellie flashed a knowing smile and mouthed "try…" to me. I widened my eyes and looked at Jacob; he didn't catch any of that. He was moving toward the passenger seat.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I moved to the driver's seat.

"South of the town, to the Pacific ocean" he said and again flashed that left sided smile.

"We're swimming in the Pacific?" I asked still smiling.

"To be more precise, we're diving"

"Don't start explaining now… save it for later" I said as I followed Embry's trail.

As I started driving, I felt comfortable in that situation. I didn't remember me being this comfortable in my own truck, not even when I was driving with Edward.

"So whose bike was that?" I asked curious.

"That was Embry's bike… we worked on it from a scrappy junk metal to that…"

"Wow…" I said impressed.

"You're into bikes, since when?" he asked in surprise.

"Since now "I admitted.

He smiled and he moved his hand probably to turn on the radio.

"What happened to the stereo?" he asked.

"It broke…" I lied.

"Who took it out? That's a lot of damage there…" he said touching the jagged edges.

"I did" I said sheepishly.

"You should've called me, I am good at fixing broken things…" he said flashing a wide grin that made his eyes look small.

I looked away as I gasped at his words. His words had double meanings in them. I felt like he was talking about me, about fixing me…

I drove to the farther south out of the town and parked at the beach. I could see the sea-cliffs. Embry and Ellie were walking to the rock that was about halfway of the cliff.

Quil was sitting on a rock, Embry and Ellie joined him, when we reached the top.

"What took you guys so long?" he asked rolling his eyes.

"Hey Quil …"I said feeling quite embarrassed remembering the last conversation.

"Hello Bella, finally you see me…" Quil laughed.

"Stop giving her a hard time…" Jacob said.

Jacob pulled me to his side. At that, the three of them started cat calling. I was blushing like hell.

Ellie stood up and looked downwards. It was still sunny compared to other rainy days.

"Holy fucking shit…we're diving from up here?" Ellie said.

"Well… Well…Well… what's that I smell… "Quil pretended to sniff in Ellie's direction "oh… It's one pussy stink"

Ellie pushed Quil away," I am not scared and I'm definitely not a pussy… asshole"

"Don't worry Ellie; I won't let anything happen to you…" Embry said in the sweetest tone.

"Pss…. It's like diving to a swimming pool… we're not jumping to a bunch of sharks you idiot… stop trying to impress her…" Quil said waving his hand in the air dismissively.

Embry rubbed behind his neck. Yep he's the shy one.

"Don't worry… I'll keep you safe… I'll take care of you" Jacob whispered into my ears.

_I am waiting to be saved…_ _I can't gather myself up to care for someone, or to even care for myself…_ it was like he read my thoughts of that night when I felt miserable… like he was answering my prayers, like he was the answers to my prayers. I stared at him wide eyes.

"We're going first… our clothes are at the beach… you can join us later Jake…" Quil said in a very teasing tone.

Embry and Ellie stifled there laughter. Jake just nodded in agreement.

"Bella might need some time to dive in… Ellie you sure you'll be okay? You can jump with us? If you want…"

"Oh… please… I'm a pro swimmer… I've dived from higher than this… I'll give Quil here a competition… just make sure Bella's okay… Okay?" Ellie said.

"Give me a competition? We jump from up there…. And still make the smallest splash… you really think you'll beat me to it?" Quil said pointing to the rocky ledge on the other side which was way higher than where we were standing.

"We'll see about that… now you ready or what?" Embry added in.

They took off there jackets and counted to three and jumped simultaneously. Jacob and I looked down. They all landed in almost a same time.

"Wow… that looks…"I said trying to find the right word.

"Reckless? Stupid?" Jacob laughed.

What? Did he say reckless and stupid? Is he a vampire? Like a friend of Edward. I grabbed his hands to check if he was cold.

Stupid me! I laughed at myself I just thought Jacob Black was a vampire… I must be going insane.

"So you ready or what?" Jacob said.

I was scared as hell but I wanted to jump. I wanted to feel the air, feel the rush; celebrate that I was human, that I was alive… that I had a second chance.

"I'm scared… b-but I th-think am r-rea-ready." I stammered.

Jacob laughed and I felt him shaking. I was still holding onto his hands. He moved closer to me, came too close to my face. I instinctively tilted my head away.

"Don't worry… I'll be there to catch you…" he whispered seductively.

I shivered as his breathe tingled my cheeks, sending shivers down my body and I closed my eyes. And then I heard him run away, I immediately looked his way.

He jumped as he yelled "ALWAYS!"

Did he just say always? I wasn't sure… but suddenly I was alone without Jacob standing there.

"_This is reckless and stupid… you're breaking your promise Bella"_

I stood there horror-struck. The voice was of Edward's. I looked around, but I was alone. I was scared like hell. I was confused as well. I don't know what happened there but I froze because I was scared of the velvet voice that I just heard.

I didn't even realize I was in the edge of the cliff. Just when Jacob hit the water surface I freed both my legs from the ground. I was off the cliff… it was… amazing…

The rush was incredible… the only sound I heard was the air brushing my body… until

"_Bella_..." I heard the velvet voice say in almost a whisper. It was like Edward was heading to the water right next to me. Maybe I **was** insane.

That's when I realized my eyes were closed, I didn't dare open them. A thought of Edward being next to me, right now… was too scary. I screamed not because of the fear of fall but because of the voice I just heard.

The scream was short lived; I hit the water too fast. Water entered my mouth and my scream with me drowned in the ocean. I immediately pulled myself up to the surface but I was pulled inside the water once again. Suddenly a strong arm grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to surface and kept me there still and safe.

"I told you I'll catch you…" Jacob whispered and laughed.

"Woooooooooooooo Jake just caught a fish…" I heard Quil yell.

"No… man it's a mermaid…" Embry added.

Everyone laughed, and I joined in. The fall was awesome; it was just what I needed to give myself a break. Recreation… was the right word.

"THAT WAS AWESOME BELLA" a very wet Ellie said as she ran towards me.

"Yeah that was…" I said pulling my hair to one side.

"You must have enjoyed the landing huh Bella?" Quil snorted.

"Awww… sharks didn't catch you… you're alive?" I snapped.

"Please… sharks can't touch me"

"Yeah… sharks have standards as well… I heard they don't eat asses" Ellie joined in.

I gasped when I noticed just how sexy Jacob was looking. His white t-shirt sticking to his body like a second skin, leaving very less for imagination. His toned body perfectly seen, a pleasure for my eyes. his long black hair, wet and shining in the sun, he could easily be mistaken for a male model, a very successful at that one. It was amazing to feel that way, finally attracted to someone. But the way Jacob was looking, who wouldn't be staring?

"Dude... she's staring at you AGAIN" I heard Quil say.

"Jealous much?" Jacob replied.

i snapped my head away. when i looked back at him, Jacob winked at me, all i could do was smile and blush. i'm pretty sure we would have stayed like that for a while ( i wouldn't have mind) but Ellie splashed water at us! At that everyone started running and playing in the great Pacific ocean.

By the time we were done playing it was about 7. We were wet and very very cold, thank god for extra pair of clothes we all had. (though Jacob looked perfectly fine just the way he looked wink wink... blush blush)

"Hey… don't forget about the Friday… the bonfire's still on right?" Jacob asked as we were saying our good byes.

"Yeah Jake" Ellie and I chimed together.

We got home, talking about how funny those guys were. When we reached home, we were starving. Charlie had ordered pizza and this time I didn't apologize for being late.

The pizzas weren't enough; I was still starving as we finished the last piece of it.

"Shit… we ate all the pizza? But I'm still hungry" I complained.

Ellie's company was making me say all the stuff I never imagined saying. Ellie and Charlie laughed. Charlie gladly took us out for extra dinner to his favorite diner.

When we got home at about 11, we were tired and full! So we hit the bed without further due. And guess what I didn't scream that night as well, I still had the dream but it wasn't as scary as it used to be, Jacob was there. I wasn't disturbing anyone else so I was pretty much satisfied of all the progress I made.

When I woke up next morning, I was in no hurry to get to school. Getting late one day won't be the end of the world, will it?

"So… either my ear plug is better than I thought or you didn't sleep last night… which one is it?" Ellie asked eating her pancakes that I baked.

"Neither… I slept great last night"

It was a white lie; well at least it was better than any other night, right?

"Well must be Jacob then…" Charlie spoke up to my surprise.

Ellie almost spaz out the pancakes that were in her mouth all over the table when Charlie said that.

Okay… I thought my break up dreams were too awkward subject to be talking about this casually over breakfast. The change in air was inevitable, everything was changing and I could feel it. I was changing. Can't be good, can it? I don't know.

"Dad… not you too…" I whined.

"What? It's true… I'm just stating the fact here" Charlie said in the most childish tone I've ever heard.

"Urgh… I'm getting late for school" I stood up and grabbed my bags.

Being late for school was not worth the awkward talks… at least school environment will be the same. I can count on it… nothing can change the brilliant "Forks High School".

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_**(A\N: okay so did you like this chapter? Bella is finally admitting her attraction for Jacob! Anyways thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites! hey but you guys are not reviewing my story as much! :((**_

_**Plzz (pretty please!) do review and tell me what you think and how i can improvise! reviews are love! sorry for the mistakes if its there...=) 3 3)**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_disclaimer: every characters belong to SM, but the character Ellie is mine and even the story plot is mine. ;)_**

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Where I Belong

Chapter 5- Bonfire part 1

Edward… I gasped and before I could do anything else, he was nowhere in sight.

_Did he come back? Did he finally break his promise? Is he here for me? For us? _

I was still as a rock and hardly breathing, scared that this might be a dream and I would wake up in my dark room all alone like I always do. I waited for something to happen, for something to prove that it was dream, but nothing changed. I was still in my room, with faint gloomy lights coming from my window. I was awake, and _he_ was here to see _me_. The thought sent a bolt of electricity through my body.

My eyes watered and for the first time, the tears were happy tears. This had happened before, I'd thought I had seen Edward standing right there next to the window, but I scoffed it off as to my over-active dreams, but it wasn't. Edward was there the last time and he's here this time as well.

Suddenly the gloomy weather didn't bother me. I shivered as my happiness was taking some time to adjust to my tired body. I wasn't smiling but the thoughts in my head were clear enough.

_Edward came back. He came back for me._

Those thoughts gave me energy, now I was game for anything this day would bring. I went downstairs to find Ellie cooking pancakes. Wait what?

"Ellie what are you doing in the kitchen?" I asked feeling like I just saw aliens land in my backyard.

"What? Can't you see? I'm making pancakes"

I saw that alright, but with that I saw a lot of other things I disapproved of. My kitchen, my freaking paradise… a downright mess! The shiny counter filled with eggshells, flour and a paste forming from the both. The sink filled with pans, bowls, cups and spoons dirty with god knows what.

How big are those pancakes Ellie? I asked in my head.

"Okay… why-eee are **you**… making pancakes today?" I asked as I checked the sink of all contains.

I didn't get an answer instead Ellie pushed me to the dining seat and made me sit. She brought a plate full of puffy, golden-brown pancakes to the table. Extra eggs- just the way I liked it.

I was hungry so I decided to not question my luck and eat the good-looking pancakes. I finished them without a care to the world. They were tasty as hell. Ellie is a messy but a damn good cook.

"Okay… now that you've eaten the bait… you have to agree on my proposal"

"Proposal?" I was literally about to kick myself in the butt falling for whatever trick Ellie planned. But then again I was game for anything right?

"Well before you can reject my idea…Just hear me out" she said lifting her index finger to my face.

"I'm game for anything today… so just spit it out El" I shrugged and started gobbling the rest of the pancakes.

Ellie eyes grew wide and her smile stretched almost to an evil grin. I regretted saying that immediately.

"You're game for anything huh? Uh-huh… hmm…I don't even wanna know where that came from, I'm not even gonna ask. Okay here's what I'm proposing." She waited again.

I was almost nervous to ask her. She could be planning anything, the bubbly girl that she is I wouldn't be surprised if she were planning to run away from house for the weekend (without Charlie's approval of course) or ask me to get a best-friend-forever tattoo.

When I didn't reply, she continued.

"You skip the school for today and we head to La Push early…" she almost jumped in excitement.

Okay… this isn't so bad compared to what I was thinking.

"Okay, I think I can take a break from the tedious high school life in Forks."

"Break? Puhleez… one day is hardly a break. You've been studying like a dork-on-caffeine-rush past few months! Really if you wanna take a break, we should head out of the town for the weekend… or maybe you could come to Phoenix, you know with me…"

Chi-Ching… There I won the lottery; I knew Ellie was thinking about that.

"Ellie… I'm not leaving Forks, not now when…" I almost blurted.

Keep your mouth in control, Bella. Just stop talking….

"Not now when what?" Ellie arched her eyebrows upward.

I didn't say anything. What was I supposed to say? Oh… it's nothing my vampire guy just visited me in my room this morning… so no plans for getting out of here. Nope not gonna happen. Just keep your mouth shut Bella!

"You're not saying that because you actually think that fucking loser Edmund is gonna come back now, are you?"

"It's Edward El"

Fuck! Great going Bella. I snapped my head down, and started to play with my pancakes. No appetite left now.

"Oh… for fucking Christ's sake! You're still waiting on **that **guy Bella? Look I get it that you guys were in love and all that shit… but this… this" she drew an invisible circle around me (meaning heavy emphasis) "**this** is just plain… look I'm sorry I'm being rude but it's fucking psychotic. Are you sure you don't need a counselor on your tail 24/7. Because from what I see now, the moment I'm gonna leave this town you're gonna go right back to where you were, the brilliant zombie."

I didn't say a word, I couldn't speak. And the stupid tears welled up in my eyes. Ellie saw that and she moved to her knees beside me.

"Bella you know I don't sugarcoat stuff right? I can't show you the truth without hurting you. But here's the truth- he left, he left you in the woods **alone** without letting you say goodbye to the people _you_ considered your family, that sucked… but now its time to move on. You cannot stay here for the rest of the life expecting him to come back and sweep you off your feet again, because that's just fairytale and this is life Bella"

"No, but he's here. I can feel it, I know it"

I said letting my tears fall freely and lowering my head even more.

"Oh honey… so what if he's here? How does that change things? Did he try to contact you? Is that what this is all about?"

I shook my head vigorously, denying any explanation. He didn't contact me, but he came. I saw him. How could I explain this to Ellie?

"Look... if you're positive that he's here… then…" she stopped to think for a second "we'll go visit him, clear this mess up okay? I'll help you to it okay, honey?"

I looked towards Ellie, and I knew she saw the light of hope that I just got from what Ellie had just said. Ellie was such a good friend, I hated lying to her.

"Now Bella… help me clean up the kitchen okay?" Ellie said rubbing a tear that was falling down my right cheek.

I just nodded.

After that Ellie didn't even mention anything about the conversation we just had. We cleaned the kitchen talking and laughing like it never happened.

"Wait… why are we going to La Push early? I thought you said we'll be there like at six?"

"Yeah, but Embry called and asked if we could come down earlier, they need help with cooking and all. You know volunteer service?"

"Embry called? When? He has our number?"

"No, he was at Jake's place. And technically, it was Billy calling Charlie, Charlie just passed the phone to me and Billy passed it to Em"

"Em huh?" I asked with a knowing smile.

"Em and El how cute is that?" I asked elbowing her.

"Oh… please… if you're gonna start at that… then how about this… Jake and Bella" she flashed her hands like a director thinking of a film shot "now talk about a pair made in heavens"

I blushed heavily at that, Jake and Bella actually sounded sweet to me.

Whoa… what was that? Did I actually think that? Edward was here today and he was back. I can't think of any other guy. No I won't!

"Blushey much Bella?" I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off. "Just kidding Bells. Now go and get ready… we can't be late at being early now can we?"

"No... we can't" I said picking the last dish from the sink.

I went upstairs to my room, trying to find something decent yet comfortable to wear. I was making my bed when I found the navy blue shirt of _him. _It was like a sign from above.

I wore my favorite white sleeveless shirt and on top of that I wore his navy blue shirt without buttoning it up. It still smelled like him. I loosely tucked it in my well fitted jeans and rolled up the sleeves to my elbows. I looked at my reflection, I looked presentable… nice I guess.

We headed to La Push, when we got there it was about 12.

The small woody house looked warm even in the cold weather. I don't remember the last time I'd been here, probably years ago, but the tiny house looked welcoming. I could see heads popping out the small windows; no doubt they heard my truck's roar.

"Wow… you're early" Jacob said as he ducked his head out the too-small door for him.

"I thought you guys asked us to come early" I asked perplexed.

"Uh-huh… no need to make excuses Bella, you're always welcome here"

"dude… take a chill pill Billy called me to give you idiots some help to cook… you know men can't cook and I deny eating shit food today" Ellie teased.

Wow they don't look like this is their third meet at all.

"Shit food? I wouldn't call my personal taste shit El" Jacob continued.

Okay… he just called her El…. "Shut up Jake" I heard Ellie say.

"Hey am I missing something here?" I asked still perplexed.

"There's my girl…" I heard Embry yell from the door.

"Your girl? If you wanna get your ass kicked all you've gotta do is ask Em." Ellie said punching him in the gut.

"Dude… Bu-urn" Quil replied pushing Embry teasingly/

Ellie had entered the house with Quil and Embry like it wasn't the first time she was here, leaving me alone outside. I hadn't moved from my place, the scene in front of me was a bit… well weird.

"El… has been visiting us unlike you… Bells" Jacob replied answering the questions in my head.

"She has? When?"

"When you and I were at school studying, Quil and Embry have been missing school a lot lately" Jacob explained.

"Why?"

"El's been making them"

"What?"

"Yeah… she's a real convincer… she convinced me to miss school on Tuesday… boy she's so… so bubbly" he sighed.

"Wait Tuesday? So the cliff diving was Ellie's plan?"

"d-oh dumbo… she planned the whole thing… only the location was our decision… she's a real planner huh?" he said sitting on the edge of my truck's back.

"Yeah… that she is. She made me skip _my_school today to come here help _you_ guys which wasn't even necessary" I said sitting by his side.

"Well… Emily's a great cook. So it was really unnecessary"

I flinched when I thought he didn't want me there.

"But at least I can spend some more time with you and catch up to what's happening with you, right?" he said giving a slight elbow nudge.

"Yeah… an upside to my unwanted presence huh?" I used my sarcastic tone.

"Oh… c'mon I know you know what I meant... don't even try to make me feel bad"

"Uh-huh know me that well huh?"

"Well you're not that hard to read" he said.

Well that's a first… Edward the mind-reader almost went nuts trying to read me.

"So who's Emily?" I asked.

"Emily is Leah's cousin… you know Harry Clearwater's daughter." he said with a little sad tone.

"You don't like her?"

"What? No… she's awesome… why'd you say that?"

"You're not that hard to read either" I elbowed him.

his lips parted a little smile and he rested his elbows in his legs and lowered his head.

"Well… it's just somehow weird… Emily's Sam's girlfriend" he announced.

What was that supposed to mean? Did he like Emily?

"And…" I almost begged him in my head to continue.

"And... Sam's ex-girlfriend is …" his eyes did little to hide his hatred.

"Leah." He sighed.

"What? Sam Uley cheated on Leah with Emily?"

"No… it wasn't like that I guess. The weekend Emily showed up here, Sam broke up with Leah, broke her apart literally. She's not coming to the bonfire tonight as well… I mean can that guy get any weirder? "

"What are you talking about?"

"Sam's a complicated guy. He used to be a friend, but suddenly he disappeared and then out of nowhere he formed a cult that all our Quileute elders approve of. To me it's just some kinda bully to make kids follow him and now Sam's thinking that I'm gonna join that thing… whatever that is."

"What? He threatened you?" I was furious at the thought.

Who the hell Sam Uley think he is?

"No not literally… like he just… " he let out a heavy breath "it's weird Bella… lets just leave it at that… this conversation was supposed to be about you, remember?"

I was just about to protest, I wanted him to continue, it looked like it really bothered him, but I didn't get a chance.

"yo… Bella… you planning to get inside and meet us or not?" Quil yelled from the door.

"awww… look at that… a scene outta movie…" Embry chimed.

"Get inside Jake and Bella… "Ellie flashed an evil smile.

She caught me off guard. Ellie and her tantrums, I shook my head trying to shake off my disbelief.

We both wanted more time to talk, and didn't want to leave just yet. We both let out a deep sigh almost in a same time and looked at each other incredulously and started laughing.

Laughing always came easy with Jacob around. This bonfire's gonna be fun and memorable… I can sense it.

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**Author's note: umm... I've started the part two... it's about to get complete... hopefully it will be posted by wednesday! so do read... and review plz! =)**


	6. Chapter 6

**_disclaimer: every characters belong to SM, but the character Ellie is mine and even the story plot is mine. ;)_**

**_

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_**Where I Belong

Chapter 6- Bonfire part 2

"Hey Billy? How've you been?" I asked looking for Jake all over the place. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Bella… I'm down here." I heard Billy chuckle with other stifling their laughter.

"Yeah… I've been fine, but Jake's just been talking a **lot** about you lately… I thought my ears were gonna burst out hearing about you every second" Billy complained.

"Uh-huh… you're in this too Billy?" I arched my eyebrow. It seemed like everybody was trying a little too hard.

He just laughed in response and I joined in.

Everybody seemed busy as I was staring at Quil and Ellie pushing each other playing video game and Embry waiting for his turn patiently. Billy and Harry were in kitchen table talking, apparently everybody else were gonna come in an appropriate time for a bonfire.

I sat on the porch outside waiting to receive Emily I guess. She was running late.

"Hey… you look bored. Wanna go somewhere with me?" I heard Jake speak.

"Hey… where'd you go? I was looking for you"

"Did you ask anyone while you were looking for me?" he air-bracketed the word looking as he chuckled "I was out in the garage just covering the Rabbit"

"Oh… "I stood up and started walking toward the garage.

"Hey… where are you going?" he mashed his brows in confusion.

"I thought you wanted me to go to the garage?" I asked perplexed.

He flashed that smile that made my heart skip a beat and said, "Walk with me"

He pulled my hands to his and we started walking towards the First beach it seemed. The way was short but the forest and all, made him and I fall down a lot and slow our pace. He was just as clumsy as I was. But the walk wasn't dreadful as my last walk had been, the conversation kept flowing easily. Even the silence was comfortable with Jake.

Then the tree materialized out of nowhere, a tree with its root spurting out looking fragile and breakable. I couldn't be sure that it was the same tree where Jacob and I had had our first conversation… but it was and he left my hands and went to the same place he had sat so long ago. He patted the seat next to him, showing me where I was supposed to sit.

"This place hasn't changed a bit" I exclaimed as I sat down.

"Well the tree's grown and so has the roots, but yeah the place hasn't changed a bit" he chuckled.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" I asked nervously sensing the familiar déjà vu.

"Talk? What? When did I say I wanted to talk to you?"He asked in surprise.

"Well… you brought me here because you want to talk to me right?" I asked a little confused now.

He laughed and then composed his face leaning down a bit to me. I couldn't move my face away from the place like last time, somehow I was expecting more.

"What makes you think I _just_ want to _talk_ to you Bella?" he whispered in his husky voice.

"What… do you w-want t-to d-do then?" I stammered.

"Should I demonstrate?" he asked in the sexiest voice I'd ever heard anyone utter.

I gasped sharply as he breathed into my mouth never touching my lips; my body was aching in anticipation… I could feel my arousal, my panties getting wetter every passing second.

That had never happened to me before. I was shocked with my own reaction until Jake started laughing breathing into my mouth once again, sending shivers all the way to my core.

"Look at you Bella" he laughed again.

I flushed but it was short-lived. My anger took over my obvious embarrassment. And I got up and started walking away. I heard Jake getting up as well but screw him! I just kept walking away…until of course I stumbled into god knows what. But before I fell on my face, I felt huge arms around my waist keeping me in place. Jake pulled me straight, I didn't bother thanking him, I was still mad at him.

"Aww...I'm sorry Bells; I was just messing around with you" he said from the behind.

"Oh… great… you brought me all the way here to the woods just to mess with my head and get me angry? Mission accomplished Jake…" I said freeing myself from his grip and walking away.

"No bells… I just wanted to spend some time with you" he said catching my hands again.

I stood there without moving, considering my options as to what could I do, running away my first option.

"You know… if you go back, you'll be spending all your evening with Quil and Embry alone"

I turned around to face him. He had this evil smile spread on his face that said 'I know you know I'm right'. I wasn't ready to give up yet, even though spending some time with Jake seemed alluring.

"Ellie will be there" I announced.

"No she won't… Ellie is helping Charlie and Billy bring the groceries… and Harry is going to get Sue and Seth"

"Well in that case… Quil will be a better company then you are" I teased.

"You are kidding me? Quil is like ten times worse than me and my little act. He is pretty arrogant you know…" he said pulling me back to where we were sitting only this time he was sitting behind me, his long legs around me, my back to his chest feeling him breathe in and out evenly.

I didn't fight anymore, it felt amazingly relaxing and it was like the place where I belonged.

"So why aren't you coming back?"

"Well… I do have a better company you know" he said smirking.

"Seriously Jake… why aren't you coming back?"

"I have some things to think about" he said seriously.

"What things?" I asked too curious to know what he was thinking of.

He spoke into my hair sending warm air to my strands, "Nothing much… just stuff… about you"

I narrowed my eyes moving to look at his face more clearly; he looked goofy in a way, "Stuff about me? Like what?"

"Well I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?" he said now with a shy smile.

It took me off guard but still I answered almost in an instant. "I'd love to"

What? Did I just say that? Oh shit! This is gonna be bad… I slowly turned away from him to the ocean overlooking from our place trying to hide the embarrassment.

"Really? I mean… you aren't getting even with me, are you? Coz that'd just be mean"

"Oh, really? What you did earlier was the act of love wasn't it?" I asked incredulous.

His face fell, his long curtain like black hair fell to his side; it looked like he was slapped. "So, you don't wanna go on a date with me?"

His face looked hurt and I couldn't see that, it was like a torture to me.

"n-no… I mean yes… I mean" I took a breath in and replied "where're you gonna take me?"

He lifted his face, his face lighted up and his smile had spread all over his face. His face was glowing and I joined his smile. Jake could make anyone smile.

He put his long arms around my waist and dug his face in my shoulder and started to move me from side to side, which was so calming and so… so… so easy.

"I'm so happy Bells" he spoke into my shoulder.

I felt a warm shiver go down my throat to my neck to my back to my everywhere… my physical reactions were shocking me, I never felt this way with anyone… not even with Edward.

Edward! He's here… what if he's listening to this conversation right now? Oh shit what am I gonna do? Should I cancel the date? If I allow myself to be honest here, I didn't want to. Spending time with Jake was more than just an intriguing idea.

"Thanks Bella. I'll pick you up Sunday at 6 okay?"

His voice sounded so delightful and his breath was so warm that my head went blank. I should've said sorry and made up some lame excuse to dodge the 'date' but instead I just nodded my head earning a sweet kiss on my cheek.

I blushed immediately; I must've turned red like a tomato because Jake chuckled to my hair and touched my cheeks where he'd kissed me.

"You look so beautiful when you blush Bella"

If I was tomato red before then my skin must've gone beet red then. Compliments always did that to me, but this time it was new, it was Jake complimenting me and I wanted him to do so much more, so, so much more! Bella… control!

"So are you free tomorrow?" he asked changing the subject.

"Why?"

"I told you Ellie's been visiting us, I thought maybe you'd like to come with her as well."

"What do you guys do?" I wondered.

"I work on my Rabbit but Quil, Embry and Ellie play video games most of the times and usually almost destroy the house" he chuckled.

"What? What did they do?" I wanted in on the joke.

And then he started sharing all the stories of how he found Ellie cheering for Quil and finding Quil and Embry tackled in the floor when he came home from school dead worried about Quil and Embry.

The conversation flowed from Ellie to our favorites, chocolate to petrol, cars to shopping, school to boys, boys to girls. And surprisingly I found it hard, no not hard but impossible to tune him out. I was so much more interested in what he had to say about nothing-important-stuff than all those conversations that probably were much more important before. He talked enthusiastically, and I listened enthusiastically and even involved myself in those conversations.

"Shit… what time is it?" Jake said looking around.

I was too comfortable where I was sitting, still between Jake's legs, my chin resting on his raised legs and my arms around his knee while my side resting in his chest. I looked around as Jake started moving; it was dark, so very dark. The only light that was showing us each other's face was the bright glowing moon right above us.

"Shit… we stayed here for hours" I yelled only to hear my voice echoing back.

We stayed still for a minute. It was silence all over the place, the only sounds we could hear was coming off from the moving tides of the ocean, our slow breathing and some bugs making creaking sounds. And then almost in unison our stomach started to growl and then our roaring laughter broke all of the silences.

I picked my cell phone and found it was in silent. I had 28 missed calls and three messages! Shit!

"Its 9:30, Jake! We stayed here all day without eating!" I yelled

"We're doomed now… they must have started the fire" Jake said standing us up.

Even though we were late as hell, we were in no hurry to reach anywhere. We walked even slower, in comfortable silence. Jake didn't let go of my hands and I didn't mind it there. He was whistling some tune of some song; it made the walk more comforting.

When we reached to Jake's place it was silence there. There was nothing there, no fire, no people. What's going on?

"What's going on?" he asked to no one in particular.

I flipped my cell phone to find all calls to be from Ellie, Billy house, Charlie's number and 5 missed calls from an unknown number.

"Where are they?" I wondered out loud.

"They're in hospital?" Jake called out from my behind.

"What?"

"That's the number to La Push's hospital"

I checked the messages, all from Ellie.

_Bells were r u? get home asap. Jake wid u ryt?_

_Bells pik up da fone!_

_Bells we're in hosp. don't worry we're fyn. Call asap!_

"Last message received on 8:30. They must be going nuts right now" Jake said as he read the messages with me.

I dialed Ellie's number, and I didn't even hear a ring go and already she was yelling on the other side.

"Bella… where were you? We were so worried about you guys. Wait… Jake's with you right? Please tell me he is… if he is not where the hell did you go all alone?"

"Ellie… Ellie breathe… I'm fine, Jake's here and he's fine too. Why are you guys in Forks? And why the hell in the hospital? What happened?"

Jake snatched the phone from my hand and turned it into loudspeaker.

"Ellie what's wrong?" Jake asked clearly worried now.

"Jake everyone's fine but its Emily…"

We could hear people chanting, and from the sounds of it, a lot of people were there.

"What happened to her?" we asked together.

Ellie was walking away from the crowd; we could hear the voices getting fainter.

"He said she was attacked by a bear but he looked like he was the one who was attacked." Ellie whispered.

"He who?" I wondered.

"Sam Uley" Ellie said as Jake questioned "Sam?"

"Oh my god, is he okay? Did the bear get to him as well?" I asked.

"That's the weird part, he said he was with Emily, but the bear didn't even touch him? The story doesn't fit but"

Someone grabbed the phone from her.

"Bella, Bella, are you okay? Where were you? Why are you so late? Are you okay?" Charlie fired on.

"I'm fine dad. I was with Jake… is everything okay there? Should we head down there now?"

"No... We took your truck Bella and I'll feel a lot better if you just stay where you are until I come and get you okay Bells? And everything is fine here Bella, Emily is getting her stitches and Paul and Jared is helping Sam, we'll be there as soon as we can okay?"

"Okay dad…" "Okay Charlie..."

Ellie took the phone back.

"Jake, dude… is Em there? I can't find him… I'm I'm really worried. And Quil is trying to go look for him, he's acting nuts… I mean what if the bear come and fucking eat you asshole!" Ellie yelled.

"What if the fucking bear is attacking Em right now? He'll need some help" Quil snapped.

"Calm down kids… Embry will be fine wherever he is. He'll be back when it's time." Billy said.

I widened my eyes, they were cursing in front of Billy?

"Hey Charlie's calling us in. we'll be back as soon as it's done here okay? You guys just stay in and please don't fucking go out again!"

She snapped her phone and there was silence all over the place. Only our heavy breathing was heard.

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(**author's note: sorry I'm late at posting this. but I will post the next one sooner, but I really wish I'd get reviews.. :( )**


	7. Chapter 7

**_disclaimer: every characters belong to SM, but the character Ellie is mine and even the story plot is mine. ;)_**

* * *

Where I Belong

Chapter 7 - Evil Plans

I came out of the shower and I mentally kicked myself for forgetting to bring the clean clothes in. I walked out of the bathroom door in the almost wet white towel. I sneaked past the couch where Jacob was so peacefully sleeping to his room, where Jacob had left me his pair of shorts and tee's.

My heart was throbbing so loud, I felt like a thief right then sneaking in my tip-toes trying not to get caught. When I reached the small room, I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"At least Jake didn't catch me half naked" I whispered to myself.

I was about to close the door, when a huge hand stopped it.

"Too bad, but I'd love to catch you completely naked" Jake said in his sexy husky as he entered the room with a wicked smile and eyes so dark with lust. That look itself was more than enough to get me aroused.

Jake moved towards me in a slow swift movement, his silk like hair moving slightly with each step he took. I instinctively moved backwards until I reached his bed, and was forced to sit there.

Jake was now on his knee, but still level with my face. I closed my eyes as he slowly, really slowly moved his hand towards the hem of the towel covering my body. My heart started pounding fast and heavy. My head was spinning with so much of emotions; nervousness, anxiety, lust, eagerness and most of all excitement.

"Jake" I heard myself whisper.

Then Jake moved his hand in almost an expertise way, and snapped the towel in one swift movement.

My head snapped and my eyes popped back to reality, in Jake's living room with TV on!

"Shit! That was a dream?" I wondered to myself.

Did I just have a wet dream? Oh my god… what's happening to me? I was just about to move to turn the TV off, when Jake turned his body to face me, sleeping soundly in my lap. I smiled at the scene, this huge guy sleeping in my lap like a little boy. I blushed as a replay of my very first wet dream started playing on my mind.

He looked so calm, so serene, so at peace. His sharp grown features looked calm and child-like. I smiled and I went into another world letting my finger to play with his black long hair, massaging his scalp.

I could tell he liked it; he moved his head deeper into my lap, his face now almost touching my stomach. My hands stopped at its place. My insides went into a turmoil mode, everything inside scrunch up into a ball but somehow all that because of anticipation, anticipation for his face to touch my body.

He whimpered in his sleep, his brows mashed almost looking irritated. I started moving my hands once more, his face at once fell into a peace mode and finally his face touched my tummy. I felt the jar of butterflies getting free; my breathing was ragged and heavy.

Even though my insides were exploding, outside I guess I managed pretty well. I continued moving my hands, never leaving my eyes off of his face. No amount of entertainment was worth missing this huge guy sleeping so peacefully.

I don't know how long I stared at Jake breathing in and out, but it wasn't enough. I made myself look away when he took in a huge gulp of air through his mouth and lazily opened his eyes. I silently thanked myself that I hadn't turned the TV off; at least I didn't get caught staring at Jake.

"Shit… how long was I out?" he asked turning his head to look around.

My mind went into a complete panic mode; I hadn't even bothered to check the watch. I'm so getting caught now!

"Oh crap, it's past midnight? Why didn't you wake me up Bella? You're leg must have been killing you"

"I'm stronger than you think, Jake. Besides you didn't wake _me_ up when I rudely fell asleep in _your _divine company" I teased.

"Well, I loved the way you look when you mumble in your dreams, I stared at you for god knows how long until I fell asleep" he said lazily shifting his head more comfortably.

Well what do you know? We do almost the same things.

"Mumble in my dreams? What did I say?" I asked a little self-consciously as Jake lifted his head off my lap.

I hated the feeling. I felt warmer when he was there in my lap. I wanted him to sleep in my lap once again. Almost as if reading my mind, he rested his head on my shoulder. This was better.

I smiled as he made himself comfortable.

"Well, I didn't understand at the first but then you started taking my name… it was so" he chuckled.

"What?" I asked almost irritated,

"Well it was so sexy. It was like you were dreaming of me in _that_ way…you know"

I hung my mouth open. Did he just say that? Okay I know I _had_ dreamt about him in that way but c'mon don't you think it's a wee bit rude to say it out loud?

"Jacob Black, you can only wish for that. You know what; I'm cancelling my date with you on Sunday"

He moved his head away from my shoulder and I automatically winced.

"That was a low-blow Bells"

"Let me pretend that I care Jake" I made a face.

"Oh c'mon don't ruin that look for me, you look too sexy in my clothes, I mean those clothes never looked better"

I gaped at him; he had called me sexy twice in a matter of minutes. When did **we** get so close?

"That's it. The date's cancelled. You can stay in the garage fixing the Rabbit all day" I said crossing my arms to my chest.

Jake was about to protest, and believe me it wouldn't have gone in vain; half of me was relieved I finally had the guts to cancel the date, but the other half, the louder half was shouting to Jake to convince me to go on this date, but the loud roaring noise of my truck cut him off.

We moved to the door as Ellie was getting out of my truck as Charlie's cruiser was right behind.

"Oh… thank god this shit made it till here" Ellie said handing me the keys.

"How's Emily? Where's dad?" Jake asked.

"Emily's fine. She's strong. I mean **she** was the one trying to comfort Sam, wasn't it supposed to be the _other _way round?" Ellie said moving to the kitchen.

Jake and I looked at each other and shrugged together.

"Don't worry Jacob, Billy's with Sam and Emily now. He said he needed to talk to him, he'll be here soon"

Charlie said as he and Quil came out of his cruiser. It was odd, why weren't Ellie and Quil riding together?

"Jake, man have you seen Em? I mean he's been gone for like for hours" Quil said clearly worried.

"Dude, Billy told you he went home. What the fuck is your problem? If you don't believe him then just go look for him in the middle of the night in the jungle and get eaten by a bear!" Ellie yelled as she came out.

"Language… Ellie" Charlie warned.

"Sorry Charlie but Quil won't stop acting like a whiney child and its getting on my nerves"

"Ellie, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" I asked moving to her side.

"Urgh… it's nothing… those local boys are getting on my nerves. I mean first that Em doesn't even bother to say good-bye and second this idiot over here was yelling at me for trying to be the sensible one" Ellie said taking a sip of the juice in her hand.

"And not to mention the freaking elephants running in my tummy… damn I'm so hungry"

We moved inside and I started fixing Ellie and others a meal as Jake and I had already eaten. Jake was looking at me the whole time, when I was cooking, even when I served the meal, he was still staring. Thank god everyone was tired, so no one noticed.

Billy arrived at 4 am, looking tired as hell. I served him the saved up meal and we decided to take off.

"Hey Bells, see you at Sunday?" Jake asked as I moved toward my truck.

I was shocked at his feeble attempt, but I was determined to make him regret.

"I thought you were busy looking after the Rabbit. I wouldn't want to disturb that, besides Ellie is kidnapping me Sunday" I lied.

"El, are you?" Jake gave her a menacing look but Ellie was too tired to notice.

"What? Oh… yeah yeah… don't worry she'll be fine with me" she mumbled as she sat on the passenger seat.

Jake's eyes widened as I held out my tongue to tease him.

"You're so gonna regret this Bella…" he paused as to think and corrected himself.

"You have no idea what my evil head just planned, either you're gonna regret this or so gonna love this" he said.

I immediately went into a panic attack, but I immediately stopped when he flashed his oh-so-lovely half-evil-half-angelic smile. I thought I'd hyperventilate right then and there, but I got the control over my body and said, "Let's see if that plan's evil or a downright dumbass move"

"Oh, you'll see, alright" he said never leaving that smile off his face and winking at me.

Ellie fell asleep as soon as she had entered the truck, and didn't budge until we reached home. She looked tired. We all were. We called it a night at around 5 am in the morning!

* * *

**_Saturday, 3 pm_**

Ellie came out of the room, her hair all over the place and her face looked swollen after sleeping for so long.

"That was the best sleep of my life" Ellie said stretching her body.

I pushed the coffee towards her.

"Probably the longest as well"

"When were you up?" she asked.

"Not so long ago, about at 1"

"And Charlie?"

"He went to La push to check on Emily"

"Oh… so what do you wanna do today?" El said taking a sip of her coffee.

"Nothing lets just stay home and take a day in"

I was pretty much ready to get verbally abused, but then El surprised me by saying, what I thought was completely impossible.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same. It was a long morning after all. I've got some DVD's with me, let's just watch some movies"

My mouth hung loose, and my jaws were about to reach the ground. Did Ellie just agree to stay in? And then the normal Ellie was back, she gave me her infamous mischief smile with her eyes shining with some evilness I couldn't think of.

"Besides… I am kidnapping you tomorrow so staying in wouldn't be the worst thing"

Oh crap! Charlie was right when he said_,' lying will always backfire!'_ His famous line whenever I was caught in a mischief in my childhoods.

I had nothing to argue on; I just sighed and nodded sadly.

The rest of the evening went on smoothly with us watching some cartoons and comedy movies. No romance! Still not ready for that crap yet.

Something told me, as uneventful as it was today, tomorrow's gonna be exactly the opposite. Even though I knew whatever El was planning on, I couldn't dodge it, I just wished everybody forgot their **own **evil plans.

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**(A\N: hope you guys like it!)**


	8. Chapter 8

**_disclaimer: every characters belong to SM, but the character Ellie is mine and even the story plot is mine. ;)_**

* * *

Where I Belong

Chapter- Lousy Day

My heart pounding loudly and fast, my eyes stuck to the ground too scared to see what's happening up there. I walked all the way to my English class without sparing a glance to anyone who was staring. I was just too embarrassed, when I stumbled on someone. I was prepares for the lousy day to start this morning but this was a bit too much.

"Bella, is that you?" I heard Mike say.

My head unwillingly snapped up to face an incredulous looking Mike Newton. Great! Just great!

"Yeah, it's me mike" I said trying to open the door that he was holding a little too forcefully.

"You look… wow. What happened to you on the weekend? Did Edward come back?"

I cringed when Mike took the name I was so desperately trying to ignore.

"Guess not" he replied his own question.

"So what's with the makeover?" he asked when I didn't bother for a reply.

"Believe me, I'm asking the same thing" I said taking another look at myself at the door window.

The girl staring back at me was so not me. She was someone else. Ellie went a little too far ahead with her evil plan. She made me stay in on the Sunday, not that I minded that part, and did all those 'beautifying things' to me. I literally felt abused.

Gone was my long brown curly hair, she chopped it off till my elbow's length first. As If that wasn't enough, she straightened my hair making it reach up to my waist. It felt odd, having straight hair. She made me open all those shopping bags that once she and I brought home. Well as it turns out, every single one of them belonged to me, as Phil and Renee paid Ellie to buy me stuffs that might be necessary. And those clothes were so not necessary and so not me!

Mike and I stood at the same spot for a while without talking. He was busy ogling me up. Why? Oh because the great Ellie decided that I needed to change my clothing to go to school as well. Today for **school** I was wearing a blood red v-necked blouse, and a tight (like skin tight, too abnormally tight) black jeans and the only thing that I liked about my attire, the red doll shoes. Okay I gotta admit those shoes are like air! They're too comfy and kinda cute as well.

People all around me were staring at me like they were almost a year ago, I felt like an alien once again. I was getting self-conscious and too uncomfortable. Mike didn't notice that. He was still staring at me!

"Mike? Let go of the damn door" I hissed when I noticed Tyler making a u-turn and heading quickly our way.

Mike's eyes grew wide and he let go of the door as I ordered him to do. The teacher inside and all the class stared at me as well.

Mike followed me to my seat and I don't know what he did or whispered to the other girl, but she quickly made her way to Mike's seat.

"So Bella's back would be the wrong quote to use for this situation, huh?" Mike asked never leaving his eyes off me.

"Where was I gone?" I asked in pure confusion.

"Well you know… into non-eating, anti-social, zombie mode!" he said as he took out his books trying not to make eye-contacts now.

Zombie mode why does that sound familiar? Well it was true anyhow.

"Why would it be wrong?" I asked as I took out my own books.

"Coz' you're not the same Bella you were one year ago. You're the new Bella, Bella." He said elbowing me.

That comment felt odd but I didn't ponder on it too much.

The day was a more than a stretch; it was just long and lousy with people actually trying to talk to me now. It felt odd trying to converse with people, hadn't done that in such a long time. Forks high's popular interest was back with a new headline "new Bella talking".

I grimaced as I made my way to the parking lot, no mood for food when all of the Forks high are trying to relate to my misery. Yeah like they know what it's like to be **dumped** by **the** _vampire_ that **you loved** _so earnestly and so truly._

I decided to sit in one of those wood benches outside until the break ended pulling my hoodie over my head. I was sitting there playing with my _'new hair' _as everyone quoted it, my mind started to wonder what Jacob was doing, what could be his evil plan that he seemed so proud of.

I didn't even notice when Mike and Tyler sat next to me.

"Hey Bella" Tyler said.

"Hey Tyler" I replied without any enthusiasm. Suddenly I was in a crappy mood, this day was getting lamer and lousier by the second.

"Mike! Mike!" Jessica came yelling.

Mike sighed and went inside mumbling something inaudible. Somehow, being alone with Tyler was much, **much** worse than being alone with Mike. Tyler was a bit clingier and a bit more… well weird than Mike. My anger fumed more.

"So Bella, what are you doing tonight?" Tyler asked sounding way too hopeful than he should've been.

Didn't I choose Edward rudely enough before when they were trying so hard to win me over? I thought I had hurt their feelings, well guess not. He started saying something, I more than eagerly tuned him out and found myself pondering about Jake once again.

Almost as if answering my silent prayers, Mike called Tyler in.

"So, see you at 6 sharp" Tyler announced proudly as he ran inside.

What? Did he just fix a date with me when I wasn't even listening to him?

"You're going out with him?" Mike asked incredulously.

Before I could even think of my answer, a loud roaring noise blasted through the silent lot. Our head snapped to the directions where it was coming from. It was a bike coming towards us from faraway.

I didn't need a second look to know who it was. Jacob Black, that… that… (My anger _whoosh_… disappeared into thin air like that) that… that angel! Saving me, my knight in shining… well my knight in bike!

As he came to an abrupt stop in front of a very startled Mike and a very excited me, the bell announcing the lunch break over rang all through the school.

"Bells, hurry! You don't want to get caught right now!" He said starting the bike once again.

He revved up the engine making it roar even louder in warning, his wicked smile in place. He was trying to block my ability to think clear, and make the right decision to go inside. But little did Jake know I was more than ready to skip this mind-numbing day at school.

He grinned wider as he saw my mind working the way he wanted to. I mirrored his expression exactly, but Jake didn't even try to silent the roaring noise.

"I got very, **very** sick so I left, okay?" I yelled as I turned Mike to look at me.

Mike's expression didn't change at all, except his eyes growing wide and passing me a small nod. I lightly gave him a one armed awkward hug and ran towards the back of the bike as I saw a very confused students staring at this giant guy taking me away.

As soon as my butt touched the back seat, Jake sped the bike to its full limit. His hair was tied into a ponytail and was right in front of me. My hands twitched to play with them, but my arms were tightly secured around Jake's waist, making sure I wouldn't fly away with the speed of the bike.

The rush felt amazing, I felt air of freedom slapping my face, my arms, my body and everything. I wanted to let my hands go, wanted to feel the air passing me by, feel the freedom I desired for so long.

_Don't even think about it_

The velvety voice ordered…

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**(a\n: so Jake& Bella's first official date is gonna be the next chapter, i'll try to finish it sooner. hope you guys like this one! please do review!=))**


	9. Chapter 9

_**disclaimer: following mentioned characters belongs to vampire love SM... **_

* * *

Where I Belong

Chapter 9- My Sun

"Bella… Bella? Are you okay?" the husky voice brought me back to the reality.

I found myself clutching to Jake for my dear life. My face was hidden in his back embracing his long-dark hair to my cheeks; I was scared that if the bike came to a slower pace, I'd be able to hear the voice again.

"I-I'm fine Jake… just don't stop the bike" I yelled.

"You're scared now that I'm slowing down?" he chuckled.

"Just speed up Jake" I demanded.

And then everything else shut the hell up, the only sound that I heard was the furious wind passing my ears, trying to stop us. Jake didn't let that happen. I kept my eyes closed just in case the voice or anything else decided to pop out once again. When I was sure that nothing was gonna appear or no one was following us, I slowly, more like hesitantly opened my eyes.

We were rushing past everything in a lightning speed. It was incredible; the wind was hitting Jake's large body and passing me in a rush. My tense body was relaxing with each passing second. The cold wind felt nice to me. I hated the coldness of everything possible well except for one, the **obvious **one, but this one felt nice. Jake's back was keeping me warm, hot even. He was like a sun, keeping me warm, making my day bright and keeping me cheery even in the darkest time.

The wind felt REALLY good. After all, who would mind the cold wind when you've got your own sun wrapped up in your arms, right?

I wanted to feel the air that Jake's body wasn't allowing to pass me, feel the sensation the way I thought it would feel.

"**Don't even think about it**" I heard Jake yell as he lowered his left hand from the bike catching mine in place.

Whoa… did he just say that? I snapped my hand in place as he placed it to its former position. I couldn't be sure but I swear I heard him chuckle. I was about to say something but then would he hear me with the bike roaring its way through the silent road?

"Aye…captain" I replied sheepishly anyway.

"Captain huh? I like the ring to it" Jake yelled gulping a huge chunk of air in the process.

"Wow… he has some sharp ear" I mumbled to myself.

"Yep… that I do" he yelled again.

Wow… that's really sharp. I myself almost didn't hear it. I just shook my head and smiled to his back burying my head deeper in it and tightening my hold to him. He was just so warm. I loved the feeling.

"Bella, are you_ really_ sick?" he asked as the bike came to an abrupt stop.

I didn't loose my grip on him, just so COMFORTABLE! When I didn't answer and didn't budge, he removed himself off the bike. I winced in response. Well it was colder than I thought it was Jake was the only reason it all felt great. I craved him in my hold as soon as he lifted himself off the bike.

He moved to my side, cupping my cheeks in his large hand. Amazingly, they were warmer than my cheeks, wasn't he just riding the bike with the cold wind and all?

I guessed it right, Jake really is the sun and he doesn't get cold like ever. Wouldn't that be great, never getting cold, being the sun? Well not the sun, he was my sun and** my sun only**.

"Bella, do you want to go home? Are you really sick?" his concerned voice brought me back.

Concern+ his husky voice was better than any music to my ears. I could hear that tone for days as far as I was concerned.

"No, Jake. I'm not sick. Why'd you say that?"

"Well, you did have a death grip on me Bells. I thought you were planning on cutting my air supplies or something." He teased.

"Jake… "I slapped his shoulder playfully.

"No, seriously, earlier what you said to that little guy was it true? Are you sick? I mean seriously sick." he again used that tone.

I smiled, loving that his voice sounded that way in concern over me and that he just called Mike Newton, a senior like me, 'that little guy'.

"I just liked the feeling" I heard myself reply.

The way Jake's face brightened up and immediately took a devilish turn, I immediately regretted saying anything.

"Well, of course you did, Bells" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

I was too busy regretting the reply, when Jake carried me out the bike. Yeah, he carried me in his two large arms bridal style, but he also released me immediately. My body tensed up, but in a different way, not sure if I can call it a good way or not, I wanted to be in his arm and…

My train of thoughts came to an abrupt stop when Jake started pulling me away from the bike taking the keys away from it.

"What are you doing?"

"I didn't want to catch any movie or go to some cheesy restaurant for our first date… too many distractions you know… I wanted talk to you and get to know you without any disturbance so I planned a date in a familiar place"

Did he say 'Familiar place'? I turned my head around to see actually where we were. I didn't recognize the place. How was this familiar?

"Well to me" he answered the question in my head.

He could really read me well. Am I really that predictable? Or was he simply so observant? .questions.

"Where are we?" I asked a little confused but not one bit scared.

I trusted Jake to keep me safe, well as safe as_ I_ can be.

"We're somewhere farther south in La Push. This place used to be our family spot when I was a kid and when my mom was alive." He said absent mindedly.

The view of the First Beach looked amazing from here. Jake walked the empty but frayed roads without looking at me once but never leaving my hands and making sure he was walking with me. He was facing the ground, he looked deep in thoughts; his eyebrows mashed in one almost in a frown.

"What are you thinking about, Jake?" I asked gripping his arms tighter with my free hand. The cold wind didn't feel as amazing when Jake wasn't blocking me.

"Oh… nothing… just stuff" he shrugged it off.

"What stuff?" I asked again.

"This place used to be our 'bike' spot before. Em, Quil and I used to come here all the time."

"Used to?" I didn't miss the past reference.

"Yeah… we've been quite busy lately and…"

That's when it hit me. Embry was missing, that's what last I heard from El.

"Hey, did Embry come back? Is he fine? Where did he go last Friday? When did he come back?" I asked almost yelling.

Ellie and Quil were flipping out like crazy people, when he went away. I was so worried, I really thought they would claw each others head out. Really what was Embry thinking?

"That's the thing, Embry never showed." He said almost angry.

That reply confused me. Was I missing something? I mean if _my_ best friend went missing I'd more be, I don't know _scared_ or _worried_ rather angry. I stared at him with confused expression.

"Shouldn't you be worried? Did you inform the police? Do the elders know about this?" I asked when he didn't notice my reactions.

"No… the elders know. They say he has joint the cult" he air quoted the word cult with his index finger.

"Wait… Sam's cult? He didn't talk to you guys or any one for that?" I asked my anger surfacing out.

"We haven't even seen him yet. We're not **allowed**, Billy says" he said with hatred evident in his tone.

I had nothing to say and something told me he didn't want to talk about it, I knew what he felt like about Sam and his little cult. I didn't want him to worry about it any more than he already was. So we walked in silence, a comfortable one at that with our fingers intertwined. That felt new having someone so close to me, I mean if anyone else were to even get as close to as he was now, I would be getting to a full on zombie-mode and besides I'd prefer to share this silence with no one but Jake. I'd prefer this silence over many- many conversation I've had before.

"Let's sit there and talk our hearts out" he suddenly broke our long and relaxing silence as he took our hands to his chest.

I smiled when my cold hand got in contact with his chest, which was as I predicted warm.

"You really like me don't you?" he used his playful tone chuckling a little bit.

"What? Why makes you say that?"

"I told you you're not that hard to read and your smile tells a lot of things that I almost miss" he said.

But I was too busy noticing the place we were walking towards. It was a small area, but it was very attractive, very, **very** beautiful. At the right side of the land, large shrubs were growing almost like protecting the beautiful wild flowers growing below them. The green, the pink, the yellow and the lavender color's contrasting each other, and in the middle of it all there was a cut out tree almost looking like welcoming seats.

"Wow… that place looks amazing." I exclaimed as I ran towards the alluring field.

Well of course that wasn't the best idea for a klutz like me; I ended up falling flat on my face. My hands right in front of my face.

Jake was by my side already picking me up with his hand wrapped securely around my waist. I cannot lie, that felt good not the falling part, having Jake's arms around me!

When he pulled me up, my hoodie fell off my head, letting my long straight hair out, pretty sure looking messy like an air dried kitten's fur.

"Hey, what happened to your hair?" he asked as he made me stand firm.

"Ellie happened" I mumbled trying to disguise my embarrassment.

I've got to be looking hilarious after_ that_ touch down with the ground.

"It looks great on you. You sorta look sexy, I didn't think you had a sexy look" he said pushing me a little to the side. I looked sexy? That's a first one!

When I didn't reply, he took my hands to his and walked me to the field. He held on to me tight.

"Don't let go of me again. I don't want you getting hurt" he sounded dead serious

"o-okay" was all I managed to say.

As we got to the field safe and secure, we took our seats in the tree barks. The conversation flowed effortlessly once more. Jake had planned the whole thing; he said he made Ellie, **my **Ellie cook lunch for **us**! Well I don't know if it was because I didn't eat lunch in school but the meal that Ellie fixed tasted amazingly delicious even if they were cold!

Hey, when you're hungry and you're enjoying the conversation and the company even stone feels edible!

We talked about, once again everything and everything possible with heavy flirting as an addition.

"This place looks so beautiful" I exclaimed breaking the silence we were in after a long talk about absolutely nothing!

"Yeah, well my mom had once planted these flowers to this barren land and after that it grew on its own. All we have to do is get the snow off, when the snow starts falling" Jake replied looking around.

"Your mom planted all these flowers?" I asked in surprise.

He just nodded. "What about these seats?" I asked when he didn't reply any further explanations.

"Well…" he was about to reply when my phone buzzed in my jeans.

I struggled to take the phone out; when I did, I saw who was calling. It was Charlie.

"Crap!" we both yelled in unison once again.

Any other time it would've been funny but right now it was so not funny.

"What am I gonna tell him?" I asked as my hands holding on to the lighting cell started shaking.

Wait! The cell looked brighter than it was supposed to. I looked around to notice, it was getting dark. The sky was dark and the moon was just about to show. Great, we once again spent hours sitting and talking without a care to the world.

"Tell him you're with me" Jake said holding my shaken hands and started rubbing soothing circles with his thumb in the back of my hands.

I nodded slightly and flipped the phone open.

"Hey Bells… umm sorry for disturbing your date… but Charlie's gonna be home any time. So you might wanna come home now" I heard Ellie chime.

I let out a breath which I was holding in. Jake did the same and we started chuckling.

"Bella, get here now!"Ellie yelled now.

As if Jake heard all that, he pulled me up and started walking towards the bike, while I was still on the phone.

"Okay El, I'm on it!" I said.

I got "uh-huh" as my reply and I was met with silence from the other side of the line.

Wait how did she have Charlie's cell? I was about to ponder on that thought for a while when Jake left my hand and started running back to the field.

"Jake?" I called in confusion.

But before I could feel lonely he was back. Even though it was dark, I could see Jake hiding something behind him.

"What are you hiding?" I asked trying to look behind him.

And the darkness did nothing to hide the look in his face now. He looked so cute; he was sheepishly smiling rubbing the back of his neck with a hint of shyness evident in his face. I wanted to go hug him right then and there, but the curiosity took over me. What was he hiding?

And then he took his hand in front of him, holding a loosely bundled up wild flowers like a bouquet, to me. To me! I squealed and danced around in my head that is.

"Here… umm… it's for you. Umm…thanks for the amazing date… I had a really nice time"

My heart melted like a wax in fire, he looked so sweet and the flowers looked even better. I took it in my hands and started sniffing them; they had this woodsy yet rosy smell because of the three small rose buds in between. It was so pretty!

"I used to watch mom make this when I was young" he said still looking shy as ever.

I didn't bother to say anything, my nose buried in the bundle of flower, that smell was so enticing, so… so out-of-this world.

"I know it's not perfect, only she knew how to make it right… I just did it. I thought you'd like it. You know girls like flowers and stuff like that. Not that I've made this for other girls as well, if I had, it might have looked better" he started mixing words together like he was nervous or something.

I abruptly cut him off when I quickly closed the distance between us and hugged him as tight as I possibly could.

"Shut up, Jake… it's beautiful and today… it was perfect. You were right, I thought I'd regret it but I loved it!" I said as I felt him stiffen in my hold.

Did I say too much? What did I do? I slowly pulled myself away from him. I was about to turn around feeling so embarrassed, but I never got the chance.

Jake pulled me to him in a lightning fast speed and I was standing on the tip of my toes as he leaned his head down to pull me into our very first kiss. As soon as our lips connected, a jolt of electricity went through my body. As my hands wrapped around Jake's neck, every worry, every problem and every tragedy I had before today's date, went out the window. If it wasn't Jake's touch or his lips, it didn't matter and it wasn't worth my thoughts right now.

His lips felt even warmer and fuller than it looked. I thought I would've been more hesitant about kissing him, but I was wrong. Our lips were moving almost in sync. We were fighting for control, kissing each other in hurry, crazily. As if this kiss was saving the world and it would seal everything together and protect everything.

His left hand slowly moved to my waist pulling me even closer to him, my body getting warmer and warmer from his every touch. _So this is what kissing a sun feels like?_ I asked myself in my head and smiled to his lips. Just when our kiss was getting deeper, my phone buzzed again, reminding us that we have other people in this world. Before that damn text, it was just us in this entire world.

Jake stepped back and turned slightly away touching his lips with his left hands; he had felt that electric vibe too. I could see it in his face, in his expression. I was sure my expressions were mirroring his. I was flying high to my own new world.

I flipped my mobile holding the flowers in one hand, trying too hard to gain the control I was loosing.

_G8 2 Jakes house. M w8in here 4 u_

_Ellie_

When I looked up, Jake pulled me to him and hugged me tight, burying his head to my neck.

"That was amazing Bells" he whispered in his husky voice.

My head was spinning, I was getting lightheaded. Before I could think of a reply, Jake pulled me towards his bike. He started the bike and pointed his head to my seat. I was still feeling light-headed.

"Hop on Bella. Hold me tight!" he chuckled.

I did what he asked me to as if I were in some spell. We rode through the isolated road in silence. I was smiling all through out the ride. I felt complete and all because of Jacob, my Jacob, my sun!

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**_(hope you guys like it! =))_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**disclaimer: following mentioned characters are based on the novel twilight, whose author is Stephanie Meyer, who I am not (sadly)**_

_**(A\n:**__**the words in "**__Italian" __**is flashback)**_

Where I Belong

Chapter 10- Relationships

_**Dearest Bella**_

_**I know I know, I am about a month late to reply but its all school's fault. You have no idea what I went through as soon as I hit the Phoenix land. I totally forgot about the homecoming stuff. I was organizing it and all, so I was damn busy.**_

_**It's been so long but I still feel like I'll wake up and I'll be back in Forks. Man that place really got me hooked, you have no idea just how much I miss you hun! Well you can count on my re-appearance, I dream of coming to Forks like every day! It's like that place is calling to me!**_

_**Not only Forks Bells, I miss La Push too. That place was so welcoming and so warm, I had so much fun. How is everyone there- Billy, Charlie, Quil, Jake, Seth, Emily and Embry? How are they, Bells? How's Embry? Did he ever show up? What happened to him? I hope he did, and I really hope Quil beat the hell out of him! Seriously what the hell was he thinking? **_

_**Bells- I'm seriously worried about Em, please reply asap! **_

_**(p.s. - what's up with you and Jake? is everything fine? Gimme all the nottie details ;))**_

_**Love Ellie **_

I read Ellie's email for the tenth time now. What am I supposed to reply to that? What am I gonna tell her about Embry? How am I even gonna begin to explain?

I racked my head for an appropriate reply but came up blank! So I moved on to next email on my inbox. It was from Renee; I had just informed her of my recent recovery with Jake so she filled her mail with hell of a lot questions. I replied the questions that were easy to answer, others I just passed.

I shut my desktop down and walked to the bathroom getting ready for the school. I was putting a lot more excitement in my works now, all thanks to my Jake! The past month was really great, having Jake as my boyfriend, blush blush, was so great. I can talk to him about everything and anything. He makes me laugh; he makes me a fun person. He brings out the best of me; it was the best month of my life.

I know I've used** that** line before, but seriously I never thought I could have this much fun with one person. This past month kicks last best month's ass! I don't think I'm making a very good sense, but who cares, I'm happy, I'm jolly and I'm loving it!

_Honk, honk! _

The toothbrush fell off my hand as my legs took control over my body, I found myself running toward my room frantic, searching for the source of the noise. My eyes didn't settle at one particular thing, it was just plainly in emergency search mode.

And finally my eyes were in a relief mode when it found what it was searching for. Jacob Black. My Jacob, gosh! I don't think I'll ever get tired of calling his name. Even his name's so damn gorgeous, just like the man waiting for me downstairs, my man.

My lips stretched to a huge smile as soon as I saw the black bike with the man I love waiting for me. His eyes widened and his lips stretched to even a huger smile. He motioned his hands around his face and mouthed so damn clearly "looking beautiful, beautiful"

He chuckled a bit, when I flinched at the taste of not-so-tasty toothpaste in my tongue. Shit! I must be looking like a shit!

I ran to my bathroom and fixed myself as best as I could, I couldn't get myself to pay more attention as the honking from outside just got louder and louder. All I could think of was Jake waiting for me outside.

"Dad, no breakfast for me today!" I yelled as I ran towards the door.

When I was in a hurry to see Jake, even my clumsiness was afraid to get in the way! Charlie was quite used to this routine now. Neither Jake nor I have the patience to wait to gulp my breakfast when we could be spending time together. Whenever Jake decided to show up, I went school empty stomach. I seriously don't care; I mean I get to be with Jake.

"Yeah, got that!" Charlie yelled back.

I went out the door, my breath hitched to another level. I always loved the way he looked when he was standing that way waiting for **me**. His back resting on the seat and his long legs crossed out in front of him and his hand still aggressively honking the horn.

"Hey, gorgeous, what took you so long?" he said as he walked to me.

"Gorgeous, huh? I don't think I have toothpaste on my mouth and my hair isn't standing on its edge Jake!" I snapped.

Yeah, even fighting with Jake was heavenly.

"Yup, you don't but you still look beautiful" he said.

I don't think he got my point. Uh-huh… he was about to kiss me, and I swear once his lips melted on mine, I won't remember my point at all. With all my force, I moved away from him, pretending to be angry. Man, relationship makes you such a drama-queen.

"Aww, c'mon Bells. Are you mad at me?" he whined.

"Shut up Jake. Just take me to the god damn school"

What am I doing? Why am I fighting with him? I swear I'm not mad at him not even a bit, but fighting with him was one of the best parts of this relationship.

Jake quietly walked to the bike and started it, roaring it ordering me to take my seat. He was angry now. Great! Why am I acting so stupid?

I was cursing myself the whole way, why did I even start the damn thing when I wasn't even angry? PMS… has to be it!

When the bike came to an abrupt stop, I got off the bike slowly scared to face him. He must hate me right now; I'll be getting a beating if I tried something smart right now. I slowly walked away from him, feeling stupid as ever.

"Where do you think you're going?" he barked as he caught my hands.

Oh boy… this is bad. I slowly turned around, my face still facing the ground. I was thinking of how to start my apologies.

"I'm sorry Bells" I heard him say.

My heads snapped up and I found my caring boyfriend staring at me intensely. Why was **he** apologizing?

"No, Jake I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me; I know you were just teasing. I wasn't even angry…" but before I could complete my whining Jake cut me off taking my cheeks to his hands.

"Bells, you're wrong. I wasn't teasing…. I was serious. You have no idea just how much I wish I could see you wake up in the morning, you look beautiful all the time to me, and I mean it!"

My tears started falling down, told you it was _that_ time of the month, as he hugged me tight into his embrace. I felt his warmth moving to me, my head buried to his chest. The sound of his heart beating in a steady pace was like music to my ears. This place that I was in, hands down my favorite place to be.

"I love you Bells" Jake whispered to my ears.

My breath choked in my throat, I was out of air. He _**loved **_me? I don't know if I was supposed to be happy or nervous about it, but I just couldn't find that little thing called voice to utter a single word to him.

"_You're not in love with him Bells; you're obsessed with him even when he's not here!" Ellie yelled._

"_You don't know what you're talking about El"_

"_Yes, I do. I'm smart enough to know what you're thinking Bells" _

"_Oh yeah what's that?" I snapped._

"_You're not gonna give Jake a chance because you think Eddie- boy's here! Well news flash! He's not here!" Ellie yelled._

_I thanked the universe that Charlie was running late with some case files to study about some bear attacks._

"_How can you be so sure about that?" I raised my voice a notch._

"_How can you be so sure that he's here?" Ellie snapped._

_I had nothing to reply at that. Nothing would sound sensible to her._

"_You know what, I promised you I'd go check that haunted house with you and we're gonna go visit that zombie ex-boyfriend of yours right now!" she said as she pulled me towards the door._

The loud sound of the bell ringing brought me back to present. Jake was in front of me, his hands fell to his side and his gaze was intense on me, but even so I could see just how much I'd hurt him. I was about to say something but he cut me off to it.

"Umm… Bella you need to get inside. I'll come to get you later. Bye honey" he said almost in a hurry as he kissed my hairline. His lips lingered on my forehead longer, I thought he was in a hurry, but he kissed my forehead for a good twenty five seconds, his warm breath sending electric vibe through my body.

I realized I had shut my eyes while he was kissing my forehead. I wanted to kiss him, his lips, explore his mouth with my eager tongue and feel that physical pain to be closer, more intimate to leave no space for even the air to pass through us. But I felt him loose his grip on me, let his lips slide down my cheek for a quick peck and suddenly I was cold. Jake was no more passing me the warmth of his embrace, when I opened my eyes he was starting his bike.

"Jake?" I stared in confusion.

"We'll talk later Bells. Get inside, you're getting late. Love you." he said as he roared the bike and left a pile of smoke through out the parking lot.

Even though he left, his face was clear in my head. He was hurt. I should've said something.

Jake made me feel complete, even with the hole in me. Jake saw that hole and accepted me as I was. He took the hole as his window to reach my soul, he'd said that himself. I smiled at the replay of our talk of _**the other guy**_. He never took Edward's name; even though I could take his name freely, hear his name without a problem now, it just showed just how much Jake cared.

Why didn't I say something? Damn… I hate it when I'm the reason for that look in his face. That look in his face always made me feel like I'm being tortured by getting boiled in hot pan oil or getting stuck inside a freezer. Painful!

I swore to myself that I'd fix this when I met him later in the evening, even if I had no idea how.

It seemed whenever I was waiting for the school to get over soon, the time always decided to drag itself just to have fun mocking me. It felt like I had spent a good eternity waiting for the lunch break to start.

As I took the badly filled plate to the table where my old groups of friends were talking enthusiastically about some bear-attacks, I found myself wondering what to say to Jake later.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Angela whisper.

"Huh?"

"You look worried, don't worry bears won't come to eat us here" she teased her voice still a whisper.

"Here?" I asked in confusion.

"Aren't you listening? The bear attack around the forest nearest to the town has been increasing. Almost half a dozen people are dead." She shuddered.

"Oh my god. I had no idea" I whispered back.

"Then why were you worried?" Angela asked again in that same low voice.

"Guy problem" I answered without even thinking.

It felt so odd, having a chance to discuss my guy-problem with another human being. In my last relationship I didn't have much freedom to talk about it, so this was something new to me.

Angela seemed shocked as well. It **was** the first time I ever bothered to mention my problems to anyone rather than myself.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked looking worried.

And I did. I really did want to talk about it. I was so scared I had hurt Jacob that it was killing me inside.

"Jake just said that he loved me today. And I couldn't say it back to him" I whispered even lower.

Sharing things with Angela was fine, not with all the Forks High.

"Well… you just got out of one serious relationship. I guess its fine to be having second thoughts about it Bella." She said eyeing everyone making sure no one heard her.

She really understood my trusting issues with the gossip queens of the Forks High.

"I'm scared I might've hurt him. I mean he didn't ask me to say it back, but I'm really worried Angie"

"You worry too much Bells."

"Yeah… I've heard that before" I rolled my eyes. That was one of Jake's favorite lines.

"He really loves you, it's quite obvious you know we can sense it even if it's from three blocks away" she giggled as she started walking away.

"And can I be honest?" she asked when she saw me following her.

"Weren't you honest just now?" I arched my eyebrow.

"I mean can I be boldly honest?" she asked again.

I nodded, not sure if I wanted to hear it.

"I think Jake's hot! Sorry" she sheepishly admitted. "And I **seriously** think you guys have something so much more special than you know… your previous thing" she said.

Even she was considerate enough to not take names but I didn't have anything to say about her remarks. Those two relationships were simply not connected to me as far as I was concerned.

"I gotta run Bells. Hope you work things out with Jake" Angela said with a shy smile.

"_Seriously Ellie, I don't think it's necessary. I'll work things out with Jake" I yelled as she drove my poor truck like she was punishing it. _

"_No… I'm leaving this week and I don't trust you with your way of working things out" she yelled with her infamous evil smile on her face._

_I remained quiet, I didn't know what to expect as Ellie drove through the familiar path to the Cullen house. Charlie had handed her the directions. _

_I was so deep in my thoughts that I was confused as to why we stopped. When I realized we were there, my eyes produced an involuntary tear at the sight. I had never seen the beautiful grand house in such darkness. Right that moment, the place really did look haunted and seriously disturbing._

_Ellie would've believed me if I had spilled the Cullen secret right then, the place looked like it __**belonged**__ to bunch of vampires._

"_You think someone's there?" she asked seriously._

"_Of course not" I replied through my pain. That house was never in darkness._

"_Well, they could be sleeping" she hushed._

"_No, Ellie. You were right I was wrong, Edward's not here, no one's here. I should just really move on" I sighed as I rested my head on the window._

"_I'm never wrong honey" Ellie smiled weakly and drove me back home._

Once again the loud sound of the bell ringing brought me back to present. The flashback made me ask myself a question. Why wasn't I ready? I mean I had admitted that he's the man I loved to myself just this morning. Why can't I just spill it? Why do I love those damn secrets so much?

Jake's crumpled face stared at me once again as I closed my eyes. It was like my insides were on fire. It was a hell in the making and I knew I couldn't bear it anymore. I was so happy that finally school came to an end, I was too eager to see my Jacob now!

_**(Author's note: so what do you think? Like it? Love it? Or hate it? Let me know!)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**disclaimer: the story character belongs to SM! not me... but the character Ellie and the plot is all mine! =)

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**_

Where I Belong

Chapter 11: Confusion

I ran through the hustled crowd and reached the empty parking lot. Wait what? Empty? That's weird. I looked back and saw people going towards the _other_ class. That's when I bothered to look at the watch; I had still one more hour to get through school. I felt like slapping myself, but then again I didn't turn back. I moved further to the lot, and noticed that there was no smiling-orange-truck waiting for me. Shit! I came with Jake today!

I wasn't thinking right that's for sure because instead of turning around and going to my class whatever class it was, I just kept walking. I thought to myself, at least I won't be sitting idly torturing myself. It was raining softly but something in the air told me it was just a start, that should've been enough reason to be reasonable and start walking back to school, but every part of my body denied going back.

All of my conscious thoughts were directed toward so many things at once and it was all so confusing. To sum it up I was thinking of Edward and Jacob all at a same time. They weren't good thoughts, you could guess that, but I had no control over it.

It was like a scene in a movie where one side of me was** not** allowing me to forget Edward and the other side of me was **forcing** my legs to run for Jake. As a result, I just continued walking in the rain having a debate inside of my head, with no sign of hurry whatsoever. I knew both of my side, Edward's Bella and Jacob's Bella was right in their own place. I had no right to choose one over other.

I was so determined to go find Jake and pour my heart out for the love I felt for him merely 15 minutes ago, but right now I was more than just slightly aware of that _little hole_ in me. I knew I still had feelings for Edward, even though I was okay with taking his name now, sharing some minor part of the relationship with Jake and Ellie, I knew I still wasn't over him.

"Will I ever be?" I asked myself out loud.

I rubbed my wet face, feeling the hot tears flow out of my eyes and getting mixed up with the little droplets of rain. Why was I always so confused? Why didn't I ever have a straight out, clear cut, determined answer? Why? Renee must've dropped me a hundred times when I was a kid. I heard myself giggle at the possibility of it, a young messed up Renee was capable of more clumsiness than **I **was.

"Hey, where are you going?" I heard a meek voice call out to me.

I stopped in my place to find a black SUV and Mike's face with a giddy smile mere five inch away from me. I didn't even hear that huge van coming my way. Wow… deep thoughts.

"Umm... Home" I said after a while.

I thought I was going to Jake's place but home, the word itself made some confusion go away.

"Let me drop you" Mike said looking really happy.

God… will he ever give up? I had enough problems already. As soon as I thought it, I felt guilty. It wasn't like Mike was making a move on me or something. He was just offering a lift. I mumbled a 'thank you' to him as I got in. He somehow looked different to me, or was it because I finally bothered to look at him for more than five seconds after what? about ten months? Of course he looked different!

"So, you are going out with that Jake guy huh?" I heard Mike ask with a clear irritation in his voice.

"Umm…" was all I could speak out? **What was that all about?** I was shocked at myself, just a mere confusion and I couldn't even admit to my relationship with Jake to this nosy guy? **What's wrong with me?**

I could see the change in Mike's face, from irritation to the hopeful ones. He seriously thought he still had a chance. I knew I had to come with a better response otherwise he'd be asking me on a date in about **60** seconds. **59**… **58**…

"He's my boyfriend and my best friend. It's a little more than just going out" I heard myself blurt out.

I would've laughed at the way Mike's face fell at my response but I was a bit more surprised at my response myself. Nothing about that felt wrong, as unreal as that sounded coming from my throat, I meant every word of it and I swear I could've said those lines all day long.

After that Mike dropped the topic, and stopped the talking all in all. It was just the sound of wind passing through and the rain making the humble sound on the roof. Mike had turned the heater on so I took my wet jacket off and let Mike throw it at the backseat. After that more silence followed and I got more time to think. Edward never left my mind… his face… that vague face from my hazy memory never left me alone. I would be honest here, I didn't think of Jacob even once. Yeah, I know something's definitely wrong with me.

I almost jumped when Mike hit the brakes like he had the intention to break the brakes itself. I could see my house from the window but more than that I could see Mike was angry. I could feel his anger hitting me through waves from his body, but it didn't succeed in making me feel any guilt. He had to know it, him and me **never** gonna happen. I had enough problems with no possible solutions already I didn't need a nagging voice to add to the long list.

"Thanks Mike. See ya tomorrow" I said as I got out.

He didn't respond and he just drove off. I sighed as I slowly started walking to the house, never minding the angry water droplets hitting me like Mike's anger was supposed to hit me. I was getting wet every second I wasted walking slowly. I should've been running but all I did was walk like I did before, trying to get the rain to exhaust the fire of confusion in me.

I slowly walked toward the porch leading to my home. I hadn't seen anything in front of me; if I had then I would've noticed the black bike in the driveway where usually Charlie's cruiser would stand proud.

"Bella" I heard Jake's voice call out.

My head snapped to Jake sitting in the porch with his hands on his knees. He got up slowly. I was too occupied before but now I couldn't ignore the heartbreaking look in Jake's face. It was like a much needed slap in my face for ever having a doubt about the guy in front of me.

"Jake" I dropped my bag and ran to his embrace, his warm embrace.

If Jake was any less buff than he was, we would've stumbled and fell down, but he caught me alright. We stood there for a minute like that, and suddenly I found myself wincing as he let me down.

"Let's get inside Bells. You'll get sick" he said never meeting my gaze.

Like I had no other choice and no more time to do it, I rushed to get in. I knew he was waiting to get inside to hear my apologies. Okay, that would be better, at least my neighbors won't get a preview of me whining and crying like an idiot.

As I opened the door and welcome myself in, I heard Jacob close the door behind us and throw my forgotten wet bag to the floor. I took three steps before two large arms held me in place. My eyes went wide as I realized he was soaked as well, how long had he stayed outside in the rain?

"Jake?" I asked without moving a muscle in my body. Something told me that I should be worried. Was he gonna break up with me? No! No! No! He can't! I won't let him! I needed him!

Maybe the neighbors will get that preview after all.

He turned me around and I… well I was in the verge of crying and begging and anything at all to keep him near me, keep him with me. I couldn't do without Jake now, no I couldn't even if I had never-ending feelings for Edward I treasured Jake too much. I needed Jake too much. I loved him too much, much more.

"Bells I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I knew you weren't ready for that… I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't … I'm so sorry Bells. I don't know…"

WHAT? What was **he** apologizing for? He is going to leave isn't he? I grabbed his head and brought it to me and started babbling whatever came to my head.

"Jake, no… **I'm **sorry. Why are **you** apologizing? I mean I'm the one who treated you like shit, I didn't mean to, I'm soo sorry Jake. Don't leave… please. I mean I can't… I can't even imagine you not being here with me… I… I"

I never got to complete that sentence. Jake crushed his lips to mine and I tasted my heaven.

"I'm not going anywhere Bells" he whispered.

His warm lips melted into mine as his tongue entered my mouth. That luscious tongue devoured into my mouth with so much passion, so much more than I'd ever experienced before but still I was begging for more. I felt the unusual greediness take over me. He had the same greediness, I could feel it.

We were pushing each other to ourselves, to erase that invisible distance between us, trap the air between us, never letting it pass. I climbed to his body, both my legs wrapped securely around his waist. His warm yet wet arms supported me so I wouldn't fall.

I knew sub-consciously I was waiting for Jake to pull away, to get away from me and start apologizing like I was used to till now, but that's all I did. I just waited sub-consciously. Consciously we were kissing each other like wild beasts pulling at each other lips, like a hungry untamed wild beasts.

Jake had placed his other soaked hand tangling it to my messy- wet hair and pulling on it while the other one was holding me to place. My fingers pulled his long dark curtain like hair as I fought for control over his tongue. Nothing tasted this delicious to me. _**Nothing!**_

Jake was moving he was taking me upstairs. Actually, scratch that, we were already upstairs. He was opening the door to my room. What happened next surprised me the most. **I** was the one who pulled away from Jake. That had never happened before! I was the one who always waited for the other person to pull away, but this time was different. I pulled away, breathing hastily trying to fill my lungs with the much needed oxygen. Even while I frantically took the air in, Jake never left me. He was nibbling my sensitive spot, my neck with his perfect lips landing open mouthed kiss everywhere my wet-clothes allowed him to.

"Jake" I gasped as he swirled his tongue right where my beauty bone showed. That felt so amazing!

He made the sexiest sound as my response to his name, and I wanted to keep hearing it, again and again and again. I knew I was taking a chance there but I started pulling his drenched t-shirt up. He pulled away. _Damn it!_

But to my surprise and my _delight_ he put me down on my bed and helped himself out of his clothes quickly. I didn't get much time to react; Jake greedily took my lips to his and started sucking my lower lips, leaving it swelling in the process as he threw his t-shirt away, forgotten.

He was slowly crawling back to the bed, letting me down slowly. I felt his warm hands pull at my wet shirt and his warm skin was like an electric blanket on top of me. It felt so right.

Jake's huge and clumsy hand couldn't take the shirt off, so I broke the kiss amused. He could fix all the junk in the world but couldn't loosen up my shirt's button?

"I know I know… but I've never done this before alright?" he said looking a bit awkward.

I got out of my shirt and thanked the good heavens for giving me enough brains to have been wearing the lacey black bra Ellie had bought me last month. Jake took a sharp breath in making me feel wanted and beautiful and sexy.

I brought his lips to mine as I slowly kissed my way while whispering.

" You're my first too Jake"

I had my eyes closed but even so I didn't need my eyesight to predict his wide-eyes happy-go-lucky smile stuck to his face.

He leapt toward me hungrily, and my body ached for more skin, his skin. I could feel his very-there erection yelling to get out and I wanted nothing more than to welcome it.

As if reading my mind, he brought his hand down….

"Bella, Bella" someone yelled.

Jake jerked off me and was standing near the bed. I got up irritated as I recognized Mike's voice calling me.

"Charlie?" Jake asked looking around as if looking for a place to hide.

"No, it's not Charlie Jake" I rolled my eyes. "I think it's Mike." I said almost getting out the door.

"Wait! Where the hell are you going?" Jake barked as he pulled me to him fiercely.

"Getting the door Jake" I said catching my breath.

"No Mike-shmike is seeing **my** girl like this, it's for my eyes and my eyes only" he said with full on seriousness.

"Bella Bella" the sound never stopped.

"I'll see what the matter is" now he just sounded mad.

"But…" before I could complete that sentence he was out the door with his t-shirt in his hand.

I waited to catch my breath going over and over my head with the same question in my head _"did that really happen?"_ with a smile stuck on my face.

I pulled the dry t-shirt over my head and went downstairs, my wet hair slowly soaking the dry t-shirt.

When I was halfway through the stairs, from what I saw I thought Jake was about to pounce at Mike. He looked angry, angrier than before and he was taking long and heavy air in just to control himself.

"Jake, what's going on?" I reached by his side ignoring the company we had.

I was worried; he looked like his anger was another part of him, fighting to get out and hurting him in the process.

"I don't know, I just said _I didn't expect him to be here…_" Mike shrugged trying hard to hide the anxiety in his tone but the irritating tone was still evident. No wonder Jake was angry, even I hated the way he spoke with that weird lame-ass attitude.

But still Mike was scared and I knew he was right to be. If Jake decided to hit him, one blow would be more than enough to get him unconscious.

"Mike, you should go" I said more like ordered him.

"Yeah whatever" Mike said as he threw my wet jacket by my bag where Jake had threw it.

'_I'll apologize to you later'_ I said in my head as I pulled Jake to the couch.

"Jake, what's the matter?" he still hadn't relaxed yet.

"I don't know… something about the way he talked, I felt like beating him to pulp" he gritted his teeth.

"Hey… hey… "I made him turn at me; "you don't have to worry about him" he still wasn't looking at me.

"Look at me" I pleaded and he finally did.

"**You** don't have to worry about him or anyone for that matter. **You're** the one I'm with and that's not going to change… **nothing** is going to change it"

I felt him relax under my arms; he was taking slow but leaps of breath in to control himself.

"I don't know what happened, that blonde guy just got into my head. I'm sorry Bella" he whispered as he closed his eyes and joined his forehead with mines.

"It's okay. Mike just have that effect on people like you and me" I laughed and he laughed with me.

We stayed quiet for a while after that with our eyes closed playing lazily with our fingers coiled together. And suddenly Jake spoke with the same laziness in his tone.

"Bells?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean it? I mean about me being the first…"

"uh-hmm" I nodded.

"Then what about the… you know..." he sounded awkward and uncomfortable but I knew he wanted to know.

"It never happened Jake. And I'm glad about it now" I said as I made sure I meant the words. And yeah I did, I meant every word I said.

I waited another few seconds, he knew I wasn't lying and I knew he was smiling. .

"Jake?" I heard myself speak

"hmm.."

"I love you"

There I said it. Phew… a long silent air to take in and embrace the moment.

"I believe you!" he chuckled.

"huh?" I pulled myself away as I stared at him in shock.

"**That** wasn't the reply I wanted!" I yelled.

"Well… now we're even. This morning I wasn't expecting for umm… a long awkward pause either or better yet wanted it" he said in a mockingly teasing tone and a glint of humor in his eyes, anger all gone from his face now.

So **now** he's teasing me huh? I slowly moved my hand back to grab a pillow, but I was hit first and I saw the stars in front of me.

"You're too slow and too obvious Bells" he chuckled as he moved away from the couch.

"And by the way I think you should know… I love you too" he whispered with that same teasing tone leaning to my ears.

And I got the pillow to my face once again.

I don't know how long we hit each other with the pillows but eventually when five pillows sadly got destroyed we called it quits. Somehow we ended sleeping beside the couch, my head on his chest and his chin resting on top of my head, the sound of some TV program roaring loud throughout the house, as all my confusion laid to rest.

* * *

_**(a/n: too ashamed to even post an author's note. sorry i'm late but got too caught up with studies and exams and blaa blaa... hope you like it anyway and please do review! ^_^)**_


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